"Es normal sentir miedo de dejar una relación que te hace daño" | Es Normal Ep.7 | Dra.Ruth González

It's normal to feel afraid when you think about leaving a relationship that's hurting you. It's normal to question whether you're really overreacting or if you might be making the wrong decision. And it's also normal to feel that the pain of staying and the fear of leaving are constantly competing within you. In this episode of "It's Normal," I welcome back Déborah Murcia, a psychologist specializing in abusive relationships and author of the book "It's Not Me, It's You." In this second conversation, we delve deeper into something many people face after identifying a harmful relationship: how to get out of it, how to rebuild themselves emotionally, and what tools can help during that process. One of the central themes of the episode is understanding why many people stay for years in relationships that cause them suffering. We talk about emotional dependency, the fear of uncertainty, and how certain manipulative dynamics can lead a person to believe they can't move forward on their own. 💡 In this episode you will discover: • Why the fear of breaking up can feel more intense than the suffering within the relationship • How emotional dependency develops in abusive relationships • The difference between functional and dysfunctional fear • What therapeutic tools can help you face the fear of change • The importance of verbalizing what you are experiencing and asking for help • How to activate a healthy support network • Why isolation strengthens the abuser's control • The garden metaphor and its relationship to self-esteem • How to reclaim personal space that was abandoned during the relationship • The strategies some manipulative people use to weaken their partners' trust • What "supply" really means in narcissistic dynamics • How to manage contact when there are children involved • Why words are not enough to demonstrate real change • How to evaluate behaviors instead of promises • The philosophy of Kintsugi and its application in emotional recovery processes ⚠️ An important point we discuss in this episode is that many people They don't stay in abusive relationships because they want to suffer. In most cases, there's a gradual process of manipulation, dependence, and emotional exhaustion that makes it increasingly difficult to identify what's happening and make clear decisions. We also talked about something that often causes a lot of confusion: apologies and promises to change. When there's emotional damage, words can be very convincing. However, true change isn't measured by what a person says, but by what they consistently demonstrate through their actions over time. ✨ One of the most powerful insights from this conversation is that healing doesn't mean going back to being the person you were before. Often, the process involves rebuilding yourself, recovering forgotten parts of yourself, and developing a stronger, more conscious, and more connected version of yourself. The Japanese philosophy of Kintsugi reminds us precisely of this: cracks don't have to be hidden. They can become part of our story and our strength. 🎙️ Guest: Déborah Murcia 📚 Book mentioned: "It's Not Me, It's You" — Déborah Murcia 📲 Follow Déborah Murcia on her digital platforms to learn more about her educational work and prevention of psychological abuse. @deborahmur.psico 📲 Follow me on my social media: Instagram / TikTok / Facebook / YouTube: @mipsicologapr 🌐 Website: www.mipsicologapr.com 🎬 Credits Executive Producer / Writer: Dr. Ruth González Director / Editor / Photography / Sound / Lighting: Juan Carlos Rodríguez Marketing, Branding, and Digital Content Director: Mafer Camperos Studio courtesy of Jay Fonseca A Mi Psicóloga PR Production 🔑 Keywords: psychology, psychological abuse, abusive relationships, narcissism, emotional manipulation, emotional dependency, self-esteem, mental health, toxic relationships, gaslighting, relational trauma, psychological violence, relationship red flags, how to get out of a toxic relationship, self-love, personal growth, narcissistic personality disorder, no contact, anxious attachment, emotional recovery, clinical psychology, Déborah Murcia, It's Not Me It's You, It's Normal, Dr. Ruth González