DESPAIR: Solo Version — Tried this variation and had to share it. Unending questioning!.

DESPAIR: Solo Version — Tried this variation and had to share it. The curse of constant inquiry and doubt. LYRICS The darkness comes. It comes once more. In its wake rides chaos. A lonely call. And I am lost. In it's cold deception. Left to wander. Amidst dark perceptions. [Chorus] It was never my place. Gazing at thin veils. Cruel deceptions. Where the spirit fails. I searched for answers. Found only questions here. Sought for company. Found only solitude and fear. I am broken. Upon the wheel. My brutal existence. That I have to feel. What curse is this? Which I must endure. What hidden crime? No longer pure? [Chorus] It was never my place. Gazing at thin veils. Cruel deceptions. Where the spirit fails. I searched for answers. Found only questions here. Sought for company. Found only solitude and fear. What curse is this? What secret sin? I stand condemned. From deep within. Of a terrible vice? Some hidden crime? The guilt is false. It was never mine! The darkness comes. It comes once more. In its wake rides chaos. A lonely call. And I am lost. In it's cold deception. Left to wander. Amidst dark perceptions. Broken on the wheel. Of my existence. What vain hope. Met with resistance. To pluck some truth... From the heavy lies... From this dust... Before it dies... Before it dies... Before it dies... THE STORY BEHIND THE WORDS My work is an exploration of the perceptual barriers between minds and between mind and reality, written from an undiagnosed neurodivergent perspective but dedicated to anyone who has ever felt disconnected, stranded in their own thoughts. I wrote a lot of my poetry nearly 40 years ago, during my 20s & 30s. At the time I was completely unaware of the reason why I felt the way I did. It wasn’t until September 2024, at the age of 64, that I was finally diagnosed with Asperger's/Autism. Looking back, the poetry was my undiagnosed mind trying to process the intense isolation, the sensory weight, and the profound feeling of WTF! Decades later, I have finally brought these words to life. This is what it felt like to navigate a world that made so little sense to me long before I had the words to explain why. I can only hope that it helps you on your own path to self-discovery. HOW THIS TRACK WAS MADE The Writing: All of the poetry and lyrics are my own. I created the lyrics for this song mostly by deconstructing my original poetry. The Music: Yes I use AI, I have to. My poetry has sat dormant for decades because of an inability to express it in the way I wanted. I use it as a tool, it's my canvas and my brushes and I hope you see it that way. Suno.com was used for the vocals and music. I've tried to play most instruments over the years with zero success. Plus, I'm tone-deaf and wouldn't subject my worst enemy to my singing! The Visuals: Vizzy.io was used for the video visualisation. It allows me to handcraft them to suit the mood of my work. I didn't want flashy animated AI graphics, just something simple to keep the focus on the mood. I hope it works. LETS CONNECT Thank you for listening. If this creative expression resonates with your own journey of self-discovery, late adult autism diagnosis, or neurodivergence, please leave a comment—I'd love to hear your story. Any suggestions you might have for how I might improve the channel or the visuals are always welcome.