#17 How can I get on better with my parents? Working & healing with a famous Dad - with Daniel Maté

This episode is sponsored by Paradise Fold, the luxury silk hair wrap company Go to www.paradisefold.com and use the code TCT12 for a special discount Third Culture Therapy podcast with the musician, author & mental chiropractor & Palestine advocate, Daniel Mate. Daniel co-authored the renowned best-selling book, The Myth of Normal, with his father, Gabor Mate. The illustrious duo also run the workshop series, HELLO AGAIN: A Fresh Start For Parents and Their Adult Children and are co-writing a book by the same name. With an indefatigable mission to help heal others, how do the father and son duo retain a healthy and compassionate relationship with one another? When does professional familial collaboration get in the way of personal familial relations? Listen in and learn more about: 🔔 Where Daniel’s long-standing healing journey has taken him and where he wants to go next 🔔 How you can change a parent-adult child relationship by shifting perspective 🔔 What Daniel’s mental chiropractic is and why it is very different from therapy 🔔 Why therapy as a modern phenomenon and how it can sometimes be more comforting than effectual 🔔 How Ayahuasca in Peru helped with the emergence of a new style of healing. 🔔 How finding his own unique style allowed him to compliment, not compete, with his father 00:00 - Intro 01:27 - Who is Daniel Mate? 03:25 - Which identifying characteristic resonates most? 05:11 - Why did you study psychology and why the later shift to studying music? 11:00 - How a breakdown at university foreshadowed Daniel’s “tortured but well-faded struggle” to become himself 12:40 - How, if at all, did therapy help after your breakdown? 14:26 - What is the Landmark Forum self-development programme? 16:00 - The difference between insight and change 17:30 - What has your healing journey been like? 19:00 - How did music help? 21:10 - The comfort of having parents who feel guilty and why it’s a kind of emotional ‘racket’ 21:38 - “Am I something other than Gabor Mate’s son?” How Daniel healed his familial wounds in the shadow of his father’s worldwide popularity as a ‘healer’ 24:00 - Wanting a dad, not a saviour. Did your father’s fame help or hinder your relationship with him? 25:45 - What is the Hello Again: a fresh start for parents and their adult children? 29:30 - Whose idea was the workshop? Why did you collaborate with your father, Gabor Mate? 32:35 - How does the workshop work? How does it compare to therapy? 35:20 - Flipping the script. How ‘radically transforming your view of the relationship’ is the key to peace, understanding and meaningful change. 36:20 - How did you develop the Hello Again workshop and your unique “mental chiropractic” modality? 39:50 - What is “mental chiropractic” and is it a compliment or replacement to therapy? Layla shares her experience with Daniel’s mental chiropractic walk and talk and compares it to therapy 45:00 - Ayahuasca, workshops, therapy and more. What therapy or healing modality has been the most transformational for you? What do you still consistently practise for good emotional and mental wellbeing? 47:30 - The Myth of Normal and the mind-body connection. Why do experts struggle to follow their own advice? Why are we so hard on ourselves when we are trying to heal ourselves? 50:00 - Why did you choose to publicly enter the Israel / Palestine debate after October 7th? Daniel’s childhood in Zionist youth camps and how his views shifted over the years. 56:30 - What are the psychological implications of being uncritically attached to a problematic ideology? 01:01:00 - What has been the feedback to you becoming a satirical and analytical commentator on social media? How have you dealt with the massive following you’ve accrued as a result? 01:03:40 - How much of what is happening in Israel / Palestine can be viewed through the lens of unhealed trauma? How can the emotional psychosis vortex be stopped? 01:04:30 - What is the criticism from some people in the Palestinian activist scene around “normalisation”? What can / should pro-Palestinians do about that? [NB:Tech fail: sorry for the blurry shot] 01:08:00 - Is it important to do personal healing work before engaging in collective healing? Host  Instagram: @laylamaghribi  ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://linktr.ee/LaylaMaghribi⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.laylamaghribi.com Guest Instagram: @danielbmate https://www.danielmate.com https://www.walkwithdaniel.com https://www.helloagainproject.com Did you enjoy this episode? Then please give it a like / follow / share / review. All of it helps keep this podcast going.   If you like listening to this podcast then please consider buying me a cup of coffee or two with a Patreon membership ⁠here⁠. I love making this show but it is an entirely independent endeavour and the extra caffeine helps me keep going!