🎵 Martin Selmayr, Monster of the Berlaymont, is back.....

#SchumanShow Guess who’s back, back again? We're at the European External Action Service in Brussels. Kaja Kallas, EU foreign affairs chief meets with former Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker for something a little unusual: to summon Martin Selymayr - the Monster of the Berlaymont. "Darth Selmayr" was infamous as a Brussels power broker before banished to Rome by those who worried about how powerful he might become... Knowing the risks, Kallas decides to take a chance - and a shot of Gin-Claude Juncker. Will she come to regret meddling with these dark powers? ✨ Written and performed by Tristan Barber, Barry McKeon, Hille Auvinen, Paul Dallison, Kelly Agathos, Daniel Mora, and Nastassia Maes. Director Gabriel Soler. Theatre coach & Choreographer Edward McMillan. -- LYRICS: Two middleaged Germans, take it outside Guess who’s back, back again? Selmayr’s back, tell ombudsman (or woman?) Guess who’s back, guess who’s back... I became a monster In the Berlaymont in times long gone, under Juncker, I’d make you quiver Well if you want me this is what I’ll give ya a loyal German lawyer making new orders The awed Berlaymont staff would work quicker Round the clock cuz the monster’s behind it all Try to stop me? Well that's not cooperating No i'm not bullying I'm coordinating Mandated so long my power’s inflating Tell Jean Claude nothing’s more intoxicating Than knowing you got a job awaiting But writing a CV is complicated So JC, yeah he made me Next SG, boss of the EC But the EP, they weren’t happy They claimed the appointment was shady (IT WAS!) It’s just a blip, now I must quit? 17 months, pushed to resign real quick I feel heavy, like my boss I need a bevvy But when the call comes to return, I’ll be ready Now, there must be a job for me I see everybody just gawk at me Don’t want a job in the Holy See Brussels feels so empty without me Now, there must be a job for me Can’t stand another heavenly homily Don’t want a job in the Holy See Brussels feels so empty without me VDL’s in, Ain't no DGs rebellin I'm embarrassed for ya, I don’t know what to tell ya Without going through me you’re helpless Wanna get shit done bitch follow my Asics. A visionary? Well your vision is scary Competences so confused, no-one’s view is transparent! A rebel? You should go tell Kallas She should be glad that she even got the EE-Ass And it’s a disaster, what a catastrophe And a solution so stuck in the past, asking for you (by asking for me?) Well I’m back, da-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na Help her out, stake my claim and then I’m gonna– Hey Martin me and Uschi we are always the winner You'll go down as easily as a Gewurztraminer It’s interesting, the Bubble’s wrestling The best thing, be more like The West Wing? Testing: “Scandal please?” He really thinks he can come back so easily? Don’t worry this time I’ll send a CV Although we all know this job was meant for me It's an Action Service, no DG! Take a look at the Lisbon Treaty Foreign Policy and Security Should be led by me, the HRVP It's an Action Service, no DG! Take a look at the Lisbon Treaty Foreign Policy and Security And this time I am AD-15 Who is this? Such malice! Don't mean to sound callous I can guess who's behind this shit cabal, it's Kaja Kallas Won't be such a hardass when she hears who has the ears of the capitals It's not Martin! Guess you played all your cards then 54 years old and still upstarting So you can go - I know! An envoy to all of the religions (Hell no!) A US pope? Who knows what he'll tell you? Then there's all that FAO tagliatelle Might be consequential - there's potential That the next President will make you essential But not me coz all I need Is a man trying to undercut me Don't say "fuck me, that Uschi's mean! COz thats just me, i'm just the queen Though i'm not the first one to have opinions I am the first one to speak to no-one Asking the college takes energy Who cares what those Treaties tell me? Me and Seibert just works So whenever those EU leaders emerge Doesn matter bout any Selmayr scheme They don't make decisions without me Well I guess there's no job for me So I'll head back to the Holy See Check in with Leo XIV Until the next high-ranking job is free Well I guess there's no job for me So I'll head back to the Holy See But in the end you'll all agree Brussels feels so empty without me! -- 🌐 Website: https://www.schumanshow.eu 🌐 Patreon:   / schumanshow   👇 SUBSCRIBE HERE    / @theschumanshow   📧For any Inquiries: [email protected] 📱Stay Tuned On Our Social Media : » Twitter:   / schumanshow   » Instagram:   / schumanshow   » Facebook:   / theschumanshoweu   #theschumanshow #eminem #guesswhosback #europeanunion #europe #eu #informative #comedy #entertainment #comedyshow #rap #parody #song #music #show