Day 57 | Feeling Like Everything Is Falling Apart: Burnout, Housing Stress & The AuDHD War Within

Day 57 of my daily video journal. In this deeply vulnerable episode, I share my state of total exhaustion and the overwhelming feeling that everything is on the brink of falling apart. From homeowner’s insurance inspections to the second round of rat extermination, I explore whether I can keep up with this property alone. I also dive into how understanding my Autism + ADHD conflict (the war between selves) validates why simple tasks feel impossible right now. Finally, I show my progress on the Chakra Painting series and explain why I’m choosing cathartic scribbles over focused work today. Topics covered: ☼ Cumulative Burnout: Sleeping on the couch, waking up exhausted, and questioning if I can stay in this house. ☼ Insurance Inspection: Being asked for photos/self-assessment after inheriting the house in 2011; fears of rising rates. ☼ The ND War: Understanding the confluence of ADHD and Autistic traits (AuDHDhub channel insight) and the internal conflict between Higher Self, ADHD Self, and Autistic Self. ☼ Escape Mechanisms: Books, anime, and imagining being a bird flying above the problems. ☼ Chakra Art Progress: Showing Crown, Third Eye, Throat, Heart, Solar Plexus, and Sacral paintings. ☼ Intuitive Creation: Deciding NOT to paint the Root Chakra today (fear of imprinting scarcity) and doing "angry scribble art” instead. ☼ Gratitude: Thanking viewers for holding space and sitting through the heaviness. ☼ If you feel like life is designed in a way that doesn’t accommodate your brain, or if you’re carrying the burden of home ownership alone—this video is for you. Your feelings are valid, and gentleness is the priority today. Subscribe for more journey updates as I navigate the storm, process emotions, and find the next right step forward. Resources mentioned this episode:    • What AuDHD Really Feels Like (It’s Not Jus...      • Why Conversations Feel So Hard with AuDHD ...      • Why Autistic and ADHD Burnout is Different...      • The Sensory First Framework for Autistic A...   __________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like artsy tees, hoodies, and housewares, check out my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JuluminousArt Check out my curated bookshop (I earn a 10% commission with no extra cost to you through all Bookshop.org purchases made through links on my channel, including my registry): https://bookshop.org/shop/julesmusings If you enjoy art process videos, check out my other channel:    / @juluminous   Hi 👋 I’m Jules. I’m a 47 year old neurodivergent (AuDHD) woman who is rediscovering joy and creativity in midlife, and these are my musings on what I’ve learned so far, as well as current challenges. I am doing this in part to get more comfortable expressing myself verbally and being seen exactly as I am, right now. If this has value to you, great! I welcome you. If you hate it or don’t get it, I wish you wealth, health, and happiness in your journey. Please find other channels you enjoy more… or make your own! 😸🖤 For now, I’m just recording with my iPhone. I may invest in more equipment later, but for now, I just want to get started without anymore excuses for not doing so.