Day 62 | "The Cure for Pain is in the Pain": First Etsy Sale, Burning Out & Learning Wu Wei

Day 62 of my daily video journal. In this episode, I share the unexpected aftermath of receiving my first Etsy sale—which triggered anxiety about paperwork instead of celebration, leading to hours of ugly, cathartic crying. Through this experience, I discover that my pain deserves equal validity to my joy. I reflect on Tara Brach's "Dance with Pain" talk, Rumi's wisdom ("the cure for the pain is in the pain"), and my teenage burnout disguised as illness (called "hypochondria" before a mono diagnosis). I confront the belief that I only deserve existence if I'm productive, then embrace wu wei—the Taoist principle of not forcing outcomes—to resist capitalism's pull toward capitalizing on momentum. Most importantly, I expand my closing blessing to include self-acceptance exactly where we are right now. Topics covered: ☼ First Etsy Sale Notification: Initial reaction = spreadsheet dread, not joy; spiraling into self-pity about burnout preventing celebration. ☼ Ugly Crying Session: Closed doors/windows; wailed for an hour; transitioned from shame to cleanliness and liberation. ☼ Pain Validation: "My pain is as valid as anyone else's"; decades of repressed tears finally flowing; global atrocities causing helpless grief. ☼ Existential Question: "If I cannot produce anything of value to anyone else, do I deserve to exist?" Reclaiming pain as rightful existence. ☼ Pain Stolen Narrative: Society seduces us away from pain with promises of endless pleasure; machine extracts too much including our pain. ☼ Tara Brach & Rumi: Watched "Dance with Pain"; judgment compounds suffering; "the cure for the pain is in the pain"—understood only after allowing full feeling. ☼ Teenage Burnout Memory: Heavy, flu-like symptoms dismissed as hypochondria; later diagnosed with mono after face/neck swelling; immune system compromised by perpetual burnout. ☼ Hustle Resistance: Brain demanded immediate spreadsheet + mass production of sacred geometry designs; chose wu wei instead—no forced productivity. ☼ Flower of Life Shirt: Made when inspiration flowed naturally vs. making things "just to sell them"—energy won't be there without love. ☼ Closing Blessing Addition: Original ("happy, healthy, wealthy, at ease") PLUS "may you accept yourself as you are where you are right now.” ☼ Ezra Klein + Pema Chodron: We're perfect as we are, but could use some work (Suzuki Roshi quote); honoring both perfection and growth simultaneously. ☼ If you've ever felt unworthy of joy after achievement, been called a hypochondriac for burnout symptoms, or struggled with capitalism's demand to monetize every win—this video is for you. Your exhaustion is not failure. Your pain belongs. Subscribe for more journey updates as I continue reclaiming valid emotions, resisting forced productivity, and learning to simply BE while doing my best. Resources mentioned this episode: Tara Brach’s “Dance with Pain”: https://www.youtube.com/live/NR5kN7hZ... Ezra Klein and Pema Chodron:    • This Is Why I Find Pema Chödrön So Essenti...   __________________________________________________________________________________________ If you like artsy tees, hoodies, and housewares, check out my Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/JuluminousArt Check out my curated bookshop (I earn a 10% commission at no extra cost to you for purchases made through this link): https://bookshop.org/shop/julesmusings If you enjoy art process videos, check out my other channel:    / @juluminous   Hi 👋 I’m Jules. I’m a 47 year old neurodivergent (AuDHD) woman who is rediscovering joy and creativity in midlife, and these are my musings on what I’ve learned so far, as well as current challenges. I am doing this in part to get more comfortable expressing myself verbally and being seen exactly as I am, right now. If this has value to you, great! I welcome you. If you hate it or don’t get it, I wish you wealth, health, and happiness in your journey. Please find other channels you enjoy more… or make your own! 😸🖤 For now, I’m just recording with my iPhone. I may invest in more equipment later, but for now, I just want to get started without anymore excuses for not doing so.