S0806-放下過度承擔，把別人的課題還給別人，看懂對方、自己、界線 ft 海蒂心理師 阿德勒心理學派

*Heidi's Adlerian Psychology*: Let Go of Excessive Burden, Cultivate the Courage to Choose Freely A practical online Adlerian psychology course tailored specifically for the Chinese-speaking world, truly applicable to everyday life. Through becoming aware of your life style, you will see the scripts that trap you; and learn to use issue separation to draw clear boundaries in complex relationships. You no longer need to live exhaustingly to prove your worth. Through equality and collaborative dialogue, you can be considerate of others while also avoiding resentment in relationships, living freely. Enter the exclusive discount code "ADEU" for an additional NT$350 discount! 🔗 Course Link: https://cplink.co/0qPUkgNk ——— #AdlerianPsychology #IssueSeparation #Partnerships #CommunicationBoundaries #TheCourageToBeDisliked Episode Summary This episode discusses the concept of issue separation, which many have heard of but often misuse. Many people, after watching "The Courage to Be Disliked," feel that separating issues is a cold, indifferent way of cutting off problems and telling others it's none of their business, ultimately worsening interpersonal relationships. Counseling psychologist Heidi says that true issue separation is just the beginning; the key is how we face shared issues together afterwards. In the program, through common parent-child, friend, and partner relationship scenarios, Heidi will act out short skits while helping viewers dismantle the internal friction we experience trapped in relationship self-esteem. Scenarios include: I know setting boundaries is important, and I shouldn't try to please everyone, but I still find it hard to do so? I lack confidence in relationships; how do I manage my sense of security and expectations? I try very hard, but I always feel inadequate? Or I can't accept praise from others? Isn't issue separation a selfish act? Everyone thinks that in a relationship, you must be assertive and never compromise yourself. But Heidi Klum quoted Adler on the show: true equality only exists between couples when one partner prioritizes the other's needs. This mutually empowering relationship is completely different from what we usually imagine. Q: If a friend tries to persuade me to go out to dinner, but I'm really tired and want to lie down, how can I refuse without damaging the relationship? A: Heidi Klum says that if a relationship can only be maintained by forcing me to go, it's not a good relationship. We can offer a third, more flexible approach, such as discussing with my friend that I'll only be there for half an hour, or using video calls to greet the gathering instead of being stuck in a binary choice of going or not going. Q: I've been working hard to lose weight, but my dad still criticizes me for being fat. How should I use a problem-solving approach? A: I think many times we get stuck because we want our parents' approval, so our defensiveness immediately kicks in. Teacher Heidi suggests a different approach: respond humorously, "Yeah, you've taken good care of me," redirecting your expectations for change towards yourself. You can even use physical distance to create psychological space. Q: Why is it that even though I know I need to set boundaries, I can't bring myself to say them? A: Because our upbringing doesn't allow us to say no, fostering a habit of guilt when we do. Teacher Heidi says this is simply a matter of not practicing enough or being used to it. Setting boundaries isn't about becoming cold; it's about giving the other person a user manual, letting them know how to interact with you. Q: My partner is getting too close to a male friend. I asked him to cut off contact, but he feels I'm controlling him. What should I do? A: If you use commands and demands, the relationship will become a fight, a competition to see who wins. Teacher Heidi suggests using invitations instead of demands. First, honestly express your insecurities, admitting you need help, then invite the other person to work together to find a compromise that allows them to make friends while also putting your mind at ease. -- Paid Content ---- You might notice that friends react explosively to even the slightest hint of impatience or harsh tone in someone's voice, either retaliating with anger or plunging into severe self-doubt. Upon questioning, it turns out this stems from their parents' frequent impatience and cold words during childhood. Although they understand this is a shadow left by their family of origin, they are completely unable to break free from this shackle when faced with similar situations in real life, even vividly remembering being scolded when they were two or three years old. In this paid session, Teacher Heidi deeply deconstructs this struggle. The teacher says: The biggest difference between Adlerian psychology and general psychology is that it doesn't just focus on the past, but also on your future. When you find that the i...