S0807-翻臉反擊、討好退讓之外的第三條路，有彈性的邊界感 ft Ginn

#Boundaries #InterpersonalRelationships #Communication #SelfWorth #SelfIdentity Have you ever experienced something that made you uncomfortable? You worry that rejecting the other person, or that speaking out will hurt feelings and potentially change the relationship. But you still feel uneasy. When you confide in friends about your situation, their advice is to cut ties, or to argue with the other person—why put yourself through this pain? But you also want to maintain the relationship. Do we have to cut ties with someone just because we don't like their behavior? Today, we'll discuss a third path besides turning against them or trying to please them: flexible boundaries. This episode will clarify two core themes: 1. Boundaries of Behavior and Emotion: Behavioral boundaries are about "what is acceptable and what is not." My friendliness towards others today has its principles, and my generosity towards others has its limits. Emotional boundaries are about "can I consciously decide how much of the other person's emotion I should tolerate," rather than having no boundaries or limits. — 2. Why We Find it Difficult to Set Boundaries: The first reason is a lack of self-worth. Entering a relationship doesn't necessarily mean I know what I want. I disguise everything I want to avoid as what I truly desire. The second reason is a flawed sense of responsibility. In a relationship, we easily prioritize the other person's responsibilities and needs over our own, believing that compromise will yield the desired outcome. If we force the concept of boundaries into interpersonal relationships, people might initially feel that dealing with principled individuals is too rigid. However, in the long run, those without boundaries are actually the most difficult to manage. Because they constantly expect you to understand them, but in reality, they themselves don't understand what they're thinking. —Paid Content— This paid episode aims to share three essential steps you must take to establish boundaries: 1. First Level: The Awareness Level – From "I'm afraid to set boundaries" to "I want to try." Often, we're afraid to set boundaries because we feel we have no choice and don't know what to do. — 2. Second Level: Mindset Level – Recognizing that your energy and resources are limited. Many people agree to everything and help with everything because they unconsciously treat their resources as unlimited. But your time, energy, and focus are the most precious and scarce limited resources in this world. — 3. Third Level: Action Level – Always be flexible and never give an immediate response. When someone asks for urgent help at work or extends an invitation, the most crucial action is: "Never give any explicit yes or no at that moment." 【Related Contact Information】 Xiao Ou:   / whatthefuck.sunny   Ginn:   / ginncalligraphy   — We offer three services: completing the stories not finished in the program, expanding on topics for reflection, and helping you become a better person. Free newsletter subscription link: https://whatthefuck.life/ Free LINE group joining link: https://line.me/ti/g2/VwAMb-OFKbUKkIQ... Paid LINE group joining link: https://line.me/ti/g2/ojYy_BVLEbqoLOG... Chapter *00:00* Highlights *01:46* Ginn shares three levels of boundaries: behavior, emotion, and resources *03:58* Definition of emotional boundaries: Consciously deciding how much emotion to bear *09:52* The cost of over-intervention: blurred boundaries and the terrifying cycle of "for your own good" *13:25* The consequences of forbearance and concession: giving the other party the right to take advantage *24:30* When Being a Good Person Becomes Poison *32:15* Practical Application Steps of Nonviolent Communication in Boundary Establishment *36:40* Others' Emotions Are Not Your Responsibility *39:55* Solutions to the Most Common Boundary Problems Encountered by Audiences *42:46* Clash of Core Viewpoints Between Guest and Host: Establishing Boundaries is for Going Further *47:15* Write Down Your Personal "Interpersonal Boundary List"