Somatic Therapist: The #1 Reason Couples Miscommunicate | Elizabeth Ferreira, Being Well

Somatic therapist ‪@elizabeth.ferreira‬ joins me to explore a common source of relationship conflict: the mismatch between “fixing” (moving quickly into problem-solving) and “feeling” (wanting attunement and empathy before solutions). We talk about where these patterns come from, how each functions as a psychological defense, and the role of gender socialization, identity, and adaptation. The conversation also touches on trauma, nervous-system activation, and why building safety usually comes before change. Key Topics: 0:00 Intro 3:40 “Fixing” vs. “feeling,” and why both can be protective strategies. 6:03 Socialization and learned coping styles. 9:12 Why conflict happens 14:28 Attunement, then problem-solving. 18:35 How discomfort with emotion shapes communication 30:48 What change looks like in practice. 33:49 Trauma and nervous-system activation 42:32 Helping logical-first people open up emotionally. 46:49 “Do you want empathy or solutions?” 49:03 Teaser about Complex PTSD in relationships. 52:30 Recap I'm not a clinician, and what I say on this channel should not be taken as medical advice. Subscribe to Being Well on: Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/5d87ZU1... Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth. Subscribe to Rick on YouTube:    / @rickhanson   Get Rick's Free Newsletters: https://rickhanson.com/writings/newsl... Follow Rick Here: 🌍 https://rickhanson.com/ 📸   / rickhansonphd   You can follow me here: 🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0 🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com 📸   / f.hanson