What "Toxic" Actually Means, and Why the Word Alone Isn't Enough

The word "toxic" is everywhere. But what does it actually mean, and when does throwing it around start to work against us? In this episode of Queer Hearts Healthy Starts, OSTC therapists Allison Smith, LCSW (she/they) and Ernesto Martinez, AMFT, APCC (he/they) get into the real definition: not just what's present in a harmful relationship, but what's missing. They break down the difference between genuine power and control dynamics and the everyday friction that comes with being in relationship with other humans. They talk about gaslighting, love bombing, isolation, and the ways that queer folks navigate all of this inside systems that were never designed to protect them. This one goes deep, and it goes there with care. Join us for the second episode in our Queer Hearts Health Starts: Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns series. Sound Bites: "Confusion and inconsistency are really potent things that make us very driven and attached" "To acknowledge something doesn't mean to endorse it" "The person who loves me also hurts me" "It's not just what is present, it's also what is missing" "What was I left carrying that isn't mine" "Our relationship with our government is an abusive relationship" "We start in this world of secrecy and isolation" "We're social creatures, we're made to be in a village" "Try to invest in your friendships and your communities" Queer Moment of Joy Guest 1: Asia Brooks - She/Her - @samuraiasia Queer Moment of Joy Guest 2: Madi - She/Her - @clicksbymadi Hosts Bio: Allison Smith LCSW (she/they) is a Licensed Therapist at Open Space Therapy Collective. Allison specializes in integrating trauma-informed, abolitionist frameworks to support clients in exploring identity, relationships, and cultural connections. Ernesto Martinez APCC, AMFT (they/elle/he/el) is an Associate Therapist with Open Space Therapy Collective. Ernesto specializes in working with Adults, Teens, & Parents of Gender Expansive Children, Adult Children of (im)Migrants to transform challenges into stepping stones towards self-compassion, fulfillment, and confidence. To find more from us visit: Website: https://www.openspacetherapycollectiv... Instagram: @openspacetherapycollective TikTok: @openspacetherapy Spotify: @MyTherapistisOut Apple Podcasts: @mytherapistisout YouTube: @openspacetherapycollective Keywords: queer relationships, toxic relationships, intimate partner violence, power and control, emotional codependence, minority stress, attachment, gaslighting, love bombing, isolation, intergenerational trauma, healthy love, community care, LGBTQ+ relationships, heterocentric norms, systemic oppression, nervous system, repair, incompatibility, chosen family