Separated But Trapped: The Coercive Control They Don't Tell You About

🎧 LISTEN IF YOU… • Are separated but still stuck under one roof • Were told you "can't leave" without a parenting plan • Suspect you're being watched through cameras, phone or car • Are scared to move money or make a move • Want to plan a safe exit and set real boundaries You've separated but you're still under the same roof, bracing every time they walk in. This is Part 2 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova, all about surviving it while you're still in it. Mum (family law specialist Lyn Galvin) and I answer YOUR questions: why coercive control continues after separation, why living under one roof is NOT required, how to document abuse, surveillance and tracking, kids used as spies, and how to plan your exit safely without "awakening the bear". ⚠️ General education only — not legal or psychological advice. Discusses coercive control, financial & tech abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. ⏱️ TIMELINE 00:00 – Separated but Stuck Under One Roof: You're Not Alone 01:00 – Six-Part Series, Guest Krasi Kirova & How to Send Questions 02:00 – Meet Krasi Kirova & Lyn Galvin 03:00 – Legal & Family Violence Disclaimer 04:00 – Does Coercive Control Continue After Separation? (Sally's Question) 05:00 – The Three Ds: Disrespect, Disempowerment, Distortion 06:00 – Why They Won't Move Out — The New Under-One-Roof Tactic 07:00 – Is Separation Under One Roof Required? Davis & Davis (Sarah's Question) 08:00 – "Can You Make Them Leave?" + When Your Ex Makes Up the Law 10:00 – DARVO Explained + Why Placating Doesn't Work (Nini's Question) 12:00 – How to Prove Escalating Abuse + Judges Are Trained 13:00 – Chronologies as Evidence + The Three-Year "Separation" Trap (Anonymous) 15:00 – The Stuck Feeling Is Entrapment — You Can Leave Without a Plan 17:00 – Cameras, Doorbells & Surveillance In Your Own Home (Loans' Question) 19:00 – Tech-Facilitated Abuse: 70% Is Everyday Tech + The Omnipresence Effect 20:00 – Is My Car Being Tracked? AirTags, Apps & What to Do (Marie's Question) 22:00 – Removing Tech Safely: Order Matters, Sweepers & Bluetooth 24:00 – When Your Ex Uses the Kids to Spy (She Bear's Question) 26:00 – Talking to Your Child About Privacy + Family Reports 28:00 – Krasi's Call-Out: Share Your Voice for the Psychology Conference 31:00 – Moving Money Without Awakening the Bear (JT's Question) 33:00 – Getting Your Ducks in a Row: The Safest Way to Leave 36:00 – 21 Years In — How Do I Announce I'm Leaving? (Tash's Question) 37:00 – The Shark Analogy: Why "Nicely" Doesn't Change the Reaction 38:00 – "You Moved Money Without My Consent" — Financial Control (Jessie's Question) 40:00 – Boundaries vs Buffers: Why Boundaries Can Backfire (Anonymous) 44:00 – Parenting Apps, Grey Rocking & the Three Anchors 45:00 – Legal Abuse, Comeuppance & the 14% Uplift Case 46:00 – Intervention Orders + A House-Sharing Idea for the Stuck 48:00 – Next Week: Coercive Control & Financial Abuse 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Can You Make Them Leave? —    • Can I Make My Ex Leave the House?5 Strateg...   Tech-Facilitated Abuse (WESNET SafetyNet Australia) —    • Is Your Ex Stalking You? Coercive Control ...   The Three Anchors with Sonia Bestulic —    • 4 Anchors to Get Through Divorce when stuc...   Capturing Coercive Control in an Affidavit —    • Communicating Coercive Control in Document...   🔗 RESOURCES 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Free Before-You-Go Checklist & Tech App Worksheet — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Share your voice for Krasi's conference (anonymous) — https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/b... Tech safety — https://techsafety.org.au Davis & Davis [1984] — the case confirming it's unreasonable to expect separated people to live under one roof If this episode helped you, please follow, rate, review and share so others stuck under one roof can find it too. Next week: Coercive Control & Financial Abuse. All our best, Laura & Lyn — Your Guides By Your Side #divorcepodcast #coercivecontrol #separatedunderoneroof #postseparationabuse #familylaw #divorceaustralia #narcissisticabuse #techabuse #financialabuse #familyviolence