The One Word That Ends Fights With Grandparents

You love your Desi parents. You want your kids to soak up the language, the prayers, the round rotis — and the bond with their grandparents. And there are moments when your mom asks your daughter to help clean the table but not your son, when something tightens inside you and you think: I want this relationship for my kids, and I also want it to look different than what I grew up with. 💛 In this episode, clinical psychologist Dr. Heena Manglani-Terranova teaches one deceptively simple skill — dialectics, or replacing "but" with "and" — that lets grandparents stay close and lets you parent the way you believe in. You'll see exactly how it sounds across three classic scenarios involving: permissiveness and sugar, gender-role expectations, and cultural clashes like feeding by hand or touching feet. You'll also learn the supporting tools that make it land: validation, leading with shared values, turning boundaries into bridges, distress tolerance, and repair. Loving the grandparents and setting limits with them are not opposites. You can do both. 🎧 New episodes every Tuesday on YouTube, Spotify & Apple Podcasts Chapters 00:00 The impossible choice every Desi parent feels they have to make 01:30 Why "good daughter" vs. "good parent" is a false choice 03:00 The skill: but → and (dialectics) 04:30 Example 1: Permissiveness 06:30 Example 2: Gender roles 08:30 Example 3: Cultural clashes (feeding, touching feet) 11:00 Where this shows up in corporate 12:00 The 5 skills that make it work 16:00 Why Desi parents are so hypervigilant around the grandparents 17:30 The family-recipe metaphor #DesiDramas #DesiParenting #Grandparents #Boundaries #ConsciousParenting #SouthAsianParents #DBT #IntergenerationalHealing