PRINCE & DORCAS |TRADITIONAL WEDDING|

PRINCE & DORCAS TRADITIONAL WEDDING took place around Cape Town City, South Africa on the 19th of April 2025. Pronounced “dote” this is the traditional wedding ceremony. While it varies depending on if you’re from the north or south of Congo (and thus what tribe your parents are originally from), the general gist is that this is the party! The party, and most importantly, the presentation of gifts from the bridegroom to the bride’s family. This is also the reason why many couples in Congo don’t get officially married for years, if ever. At most weddings I’ve attended, the couple already has multiple children. Dots are expensive. After a man has announced his intention to marry the woman, her father, uncle and mother get together and come up with a long extravagant list of things the husband-to-be must bring their family. This can be everything from goats and chickens to expensive suits, pots, machetes, and lanterns. The ceremony generally takes place outside the father of the bride’s home. The family of the bride and the family of the groom sit in separate seating areas of chairs where large canopies have been set up to protect the crowd from the sun. As a blatant outsider, I just sit wherever I’m told and appear when somebody wants me to take a picture, or wants to take a picture with the resident moundélé. Each side of the family has what is essentially their own MC – and their selection of this person can often make or break the party atmosphere. Sometimes it ends up playing like a comedy act with each MC going back and forth trying to get the crowd excited, laughing and singing as they go through the rituals and present all of the gifts. One by one all of the items are brought out and shown to the bride’s family to have their quality inspected. This is no small feat and takes at least an hour. Once this is accomplished, the search for the mysteriously absent couple commences. This varies depending on the families, in my favorite wedding they found the groom inside the crowd somewhere and he then had to search for his bride. This family clearly had a sense of humor and brought out a woman with a huge veil covering her face- upon lifting it the groom discovered it was his bride’s cousin! Everyone burst out laughing and chanted at him to choose well. Sometimes the bride comes first and has to find her husband, once with the crowd singing in Lingala, “Make sure he’s handsome! Make sure he’s kind!” When the couple is found, they are taken to a couch where some speeches are made and they then have to give each other a drink (like the American tradition of feeding each other a piece of cake). There is then the presentation of gifts from guests and family members, often pagne (traditional Congolese fabric) or household items, and then the party really begins. There is no party in Congo without food and drink. Suddenly crates full of glass bottles appear out of nowhere and soda, beer and wine is passed around. Large buffet tables are set up and you help yourself to a feast of fish, chicken, saka-saka, rice, manioc and friend plantains. Nobody goes hungry, even the random passersby who stop in. It’s a fun festive atmosphere and now everyone becomes much more festive with a little food in their stomach after what may have been a three hour service. Congratulations, you have completed step one. All of the female relatives of the bride wear matching pagne.