Giving Advise - Help or Control?

Sometimes we think we’re helping someone by giving advice, but what they may feel is correction, judgment, superiority, or control. In this video, I talk about how advice can quietly create disconnection in any relationship — with a partner, friend, family member, child, sponsee, or anyone we care about. What feels like help to us can sometimes land as, “I know better than you,” or “You’re not handling this right.” That doesn’t mean we should never speak. But it does mean we have to look at the posture we’re speaking from. Am I trying to connect? Or am I trying to fix? Am I sharing my own experience? Or am I telling someone what they should do? Am I being humble? Or am I trying to manage their process? One of the powerful things about recovery fellowships is that we don’t usually help people by standing above them and giving lectures. We help by sharing honestly from our own experience — our failures, our pain, what happened to us, and what helped us. There’s a big difference between saying, “Here’s what you need to do,” and saying, “Here’s what happened to me.” Real help doesn’t come from superiority. It comes from humility, presence, and identification. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is stop trying to fix people and simply be with them. #GivingAdvice #RelationshipAdvice #CommunicationSkills #HealthyCommunication #EmotionalConnection #ListeningSkills #PersonalGrowth #SelfAwareness #SpiritualGrowth #RecoveryWisdom #12StepRecovery #CodependencyRecovery #EmotionalHealing #MindfulCommunication #ConsciousCommunication #Humility #Presence #StopGivingAdvice #LifeAdvice #Relationships #Friendship #FamilyRelationships #MarriageAdvice #RelationshipHealing #InnerWork #SpiritualAwakening #EmotionalIntelligence #HowToListen #ConnectionOverCorrection #ShareExperience