恋愛うつ、失恋うつについて、精神科医の雑観を述べます　#早稲田メンタルクリニック #精神科医 #益田裕介 / Depression due to lost love

00:28 What is "Love"? 02:43 Psychiatric Issues Related to Love 07:59 What's Important About Love Today, I'd like to talk about "love" from a psychiatric perspective, based on my own personal opinions and biases. I'd also like to discuss slang terms like "love depression" and "breakup depression." ■ What is "Love"? I've written three things that I can think of to define love. ・Sexual Drive From a biological perspective, there is something called "sexual drive." I think love can be described as an instinctive movement or behavior driven by sexual drive. From the perspective of sexual drive, some research has shown that romantic feelings only last two to three years. That's why it's common for couples to break up after two or three years, and that's natural. That's just how it is. It's an instinct in animals that allows them to have children, so I think sexual impulses are something like that. ・To love = respecting the other person Psychologically, it means "being something to love." "To love" means "respecting the other person." I think "loving" means not being self-centered, but respecting the other person as a person. ・A prerequisite for marriage and child-rearing? From a social perspective, it's for "marriage." The purpose of love is to get married, and it's a prerequisite for child-rearing. I don't think you have to get married, especially in today's society. It's not that you can't raise children unless you're married, but I think that's true from an old-fashioned perspective. But even now, as a social system, marriage and child-rearing are not obligatory, but I think that's what is said. That's what love is. I think love is a complex, tangled web of sexual impulses, feelings of caring for one's partner, and social barriers (marriage as a prerequisite for child-rearing). So rather than getting caught up in fantasies like "meaning in life," I think it's important to consider its true essence. ■ Psychiatric Issues Related to Love There are many psychiatric issues related to love. ・Depression For example, depression can be triggered by love, whether it's a broken heart, unrequited love, or an affair. Many people become depressed because of an unrequited love, and many visit a psychiatrist because of this distress. As with broken heart, unrequited love, and affairs, the feeling of "not being loved" can be quite painful. It's painful to accept that you're not loved, and it's painful to acknowledge that the person you love doesn't love you back. What it means to be not loved is to feel disrespected, as if your individuality is being denied, and that you are being used as a tool. It is very hurtful when you feel like you have been turned into a tool by your partner, treated only as a sexual object. It is very painful. It would be best if you could let go of such a partner, but I think many people have trouble moving on and end up becoming depressed. It would be best to move on and think of them as a bad partner, but whether it is because they are controlled by their sexual urges or because of issues from their upbringing, there are many reasons why people are unable to move on, and as a result, they are unable to think flexibly, and because they cannot think flexibly, they often end up sinking even further into a quagmire. In the sense of not being loved, even if the marriage is not on the rocks, or even if the relationship is continuing, it could be "Cassandra syndrome," and if the partner has a developmental disorder, this can happen. Not all people who marry someone with a developmental disorder will become Cassandras, but if they end up in a relationship where they feel unloved, this can happen. Sexual Addiction When using sexual urges as a tool, if this develops into something called "sex addiction." The other person, that is, the person being used as a tool, can become depressed, but the person using them as a tool can become sexually addicted. What this means is that "sexual urges are not being handled appropriately." If you give in to your sexual urges and do whatever you want, it can become increasingly addictive, and you may find yourself doing it because it's fun, having sex for your own selfish purposes to counteract problems, or becoming addicted to the joy and pleasure of sex. The essence of the problem with sexual addiction is not just that it is not being handled appropriately, but also that it is a deviation from the cultural ideology that "sexual urge = love." The idea that sexual urges necessarily equate to love probably originates in different parts of the brain, but combining these two elements facilitates mental stability. It is because it facilitates mental stability that it has survived as a culture—as a human culture. But this culture is not something we can reject. It is possible to deviate from common sense. That's what prostitution is like. It's a job that exploits the human instinct of sexual urges to make money, but some people find it difficult to k...