Lament for those seduced by the evils of Ukeleles

This wee little thing was an eBay find, brand new and only £20... how could I not? It's technically supposed to be a ukulele, only with a weird shape. However, I 'dont do' ukuleles, so it's not tuned or played like one. Think of it more as a modern take on a medieval citole; and with that in mind, here is an improvised 'planh' [medieval trobador culture form of lament] for all those poor wretches lost to the false allure of the uke, that accursed spawn of Satan.... ;)