Larry, The Downing Street Cat - There's always next time!

Well, at least it wasn’t a late one this time. I am, of course, referring to England's football match last night. I stationed myself near the kitchen, where experience has taught me that major sporting occasions tend to generate a steady procession of staff in search of refreshments. Those who hadn't already vanished to the pub drifted through at regular intervals, wearing expressions usually reserved for tax inspections and family weddings. In my previous dispatch, I asked my lovely followers which colour shirt should grace my undeniably handsome frame: red or white? Having read every single comment, and yes, I really do read them all, it became apparent that opinion was split almost perfectly down the middle. Democracy, as ever, is proving spectacularly unhelpful. So I did what any resourceful feline would do. I rummaged through the cupboard, unearthed one red shirt and one white shirt, and introduced myself to my manservant's wife's sewing machine. What do you think? Admittedly, it was something of a rush job, but I feel it captures the spirit rather well. Marks out of ten, if you please. Meanwhile, from my manservant's study came a relentless stream of football jargon."Hand of God” "Why has he brought so many defenders?" "Why is Tuchel parking the bus?" Now, I know a thing or two about sitting around all day, but deliberately parking a bus seems an oddly specific tactic. It's all complete double Dutch to me. Then came the mood shift, from Keir today, gone on Monday, as he shouted out to someone their goes my Saturday night trip to New York. From this, I gathered that England's hopes of "bringing it home" had disappeared. It's a shame, really. I was rather hoping they'd go all the way. The country could have done with a bit of collective cheerfulness. Instead, we find ourselves returning to the familiar national pastimes of debating land tax, worrying about welfare spending, and generally looking as though someone has cancelled Christmas. Personally, I blame Thatcher. (That is a joke, by the way. Please put the pitchforks away.) Larry the Cat Chief Mouser, occasional football pundit, and surprisingly competent fashion designer. #cats #cat #larrythecat #animals #pets