The Mommy Myth": Why Smart Moms Still Feel Like They're Failing (Pt. 1 ft. Susan Douglas)

What if the mom guilt you carry every day isn't a personal failing — it's a cultural script you were handed decades ago? In this episode, I sit down with Susan Douglas, co-author of _The Mommy Myth_, to pull apart the impossible standard of "intensive mothering" — and why even the smartest, most self-aware women can't fully out-think it. Susan explains how magazines, social media, and decades of "expert" advice have quietly sold moms a fantasy of perfection, why seeing through the myth doesn't stop it from getting under your skin, and how the mommy wars, COVID, and the pressure to be five different people before breakfast all trace back to the same broken standard. What We Cover: What "the new momism" is, and why intensive mothering became the cultural default Seeing through the myth doesn't stop it from working on you The "fragmented subjectivity" of motherhood: why you feel like five different people in one day, and why that's normal The real story behind the "mommy wars" — working moms vs. stay-at-home moms — and who benefits from that framing How COVID intensified the pressure on working mothers specifically Why letting your partner do things "his way" is a practice in letting go, not losing control A preview of Part 2: how "Mother Knows Best" became government policy About the Guest: Susan J. Douglas is the Catherine Neafie Kellogg Professor and Arthur F. Thurnau Professor of Communication and Media at the University of Michigan. She's the co-author (with Meredith Michaels) of The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How It Has Undermined All Women_, along with several other books on media and culture, including _Enlightened Sexism and _In Our Prime_. Her writing has appeared in outlets like _The Nation_, _Ms._, and _The Washington Post_, and she has been featured on _The Today Show_, _NPR's Fresh Air_, and _The Oprah Winfrey Show_. Links + Resources: https://a.co/d/0h1QJu27by Susan Douglas & Meredith Michaels Follow ThatMom:   / thatmomco   Join the ThatMom Community: https://thatmom.kit.com/intentionalmom Maria's Style Pick: One thing helping me simplify life as a working mom? Renting instead of buying. This episode's outfit is from Rent the Runway. https://www.renttherunway.com/shares/... If this episode resonated, share it with a mom who has been carrying too much for too long. And if you're enjoying these conversations, follow That Mom for more thoughtful discussions about motherhood, identity, ambition, happiness, emotional well-being, and building a life that feels aligned with what matters most.