【知らないと怖い】大人になってから現れる毒親育ちの後遺症5選

Good evening, everyone. I'm Takahiro Haga, a psychiatrist. This time, as a "respectful homage" to Dr. Yusuke Masuda, a psychiatrist, I will discuss the same theme from my own perspective. However, instead of directly quoting his work, I have summarized my own thoughts while referencing papers and research reports. Today's theme is: "Five Scary After-effects of Raising Toxic Parents That Appear in Adulthood" The term "toxic parent" is not a medical diagnosis. Here, it refers to parents or upbringing environments that have a lasting negative impact on a child's mind through abuse, neglect, excessive control, negativity, threats, etc. For a child, parents are supposed to be their first "secure base." However, if that secure base is not a safe place, the effects do not end in childhood. They can manifest in adulthood as anxiety, depression, difficulties in relationships, addiction, and other issues. This time, we will discuss five common after-effects. 1. Recurring anxiety and depression with no apparent reason Multiple studies have reported that people who experienced abuse or neglect as children have a higher rate of developing depression and anxiety disorders in adulthood. If parents do not provide a secure base during childhood, children cannot learn that "the world is a safe place." If a child constantly experiences uncertainty about when they will be scolded or abandoned at home, their brain and body become constantly prepared for danger. Even after leaving that environment and becoming an adult, this state of vigilance can remain. Even if no major problems actually occur, this can manifest as persistent vague anxiety, unexplained low moods, and repeated episodes of depression. 2. Being overly sensitive to others' moods and constantly on guard People raised by toxic parents may become extremely sensitive to the moods of others. "Is this person angry?" "Was that the wrong thing to say?" "Did they dislike me?" I overanalyze the other person's facial expressions, tone of voice, silence, sighs, etc., and I'm constantly tense. This may have been a necessary skill for surviving childhood. Being able to quickly sense my parents' moods allowed me to avoid the danger of being yelled at or hurt. However, if this reaction continues into adulthood, I can't feel secure in relationships. Even at work or in friendships, I take on the emotions of others, and every time something happens, "Was it my fault?" I keep thinking this. 3. Inability to express emotions, or sudden outbursts People raised by toxic parents may have extreme ways of handling emotions. "I mustn't get angry." "I mustn't cry." "I mustn't say I'm hurting." "If I show weakness, I'll be blamed." In such an environment, I can't learn how to safely express my emotions. As a result, they may pretend to be okay even though they are actually hurt, or they may endure until they reach their breaking point and then suddenly explode with anger. Research has also reported that childhood abuse and neglect are associated with difficulties in emotional regulation, emotional repression, avoidance, and increased negative emotional expression. This is not because they have a bad personality or a weak will. It is because they lacked experience in having their emotions acknowledged by someone and expressing them appropriately. 4. Getting too close or too distant in romantic relationships and interpersonal relationships They may lose their sense of appropriate distance in relationships. They may feel abandoned if they don't receive a reply for even a short time and end up contacting the other person repeatedly. On the other hand, some people become afraid of becoming close and distance themselves the more they like someone. Childhood abuse and neglect are thought to be associated with anxious and avoidant attachment tendencies in adulthood. Both those who get too close and those who avoid others have underlying fears: "Is it really okay to trust people?" "What if I get hurt someday?" These fears stem from a lack of positive experiences in relationships, making it difficult to maintain a stable distance in relationships. 5. Numbing the mind through addiction, overeating, overwork, and self-destruction The after-effects manifest not only in mental symptoms but also in behavior. When things get tough, they might drink too much, overeat, or become addicted to drugs or gambling. They might overwork themselves to the point where they're afraid to rest. They might repeatedly engage in self-destructive romantic or sexual behaviors. Individuals with multiple childhood adverse experiences have been reported to have increased health risks, including not only mental illness but also harmful alcohol and drug use, smoking, physical illness, and interpersonal violence. People who didn't receive support from their parents for their painful emotions as children lack experience in processing their emotions within relationships. Therefo...