Empathy Doesn't Work: What ACTUALLY Changes an Addict #addictionrecovery #betrayaltrauma

"Did my own empathy actually make it easier for you to keep lying?” In this episode, Jay answers 10 hard questions about the hidden dynamics of deception in their marriage. We dive into: •DECEPTION DELIGHT Why some addicts pride themselves on the "high" of hiding the truth. •EXPLOSIVE FIGHTS: When Jay exploded during every fight, was it used as a tactic to shut down the conversation and avoid consequences. •DEFAULT MODE of Addiction: Why 'time' doesn't heal an addict who isn't in active recovery. If you’ve ever felt like your attempts to help are only making things worse, this video is for you. We explore the thin line between being supportive and inadvertently providing the "distance" an addiction needs to thrive. Timestamps 0:00 Intro 0:47 One TACTIC Jay used to use 1:18 Empty house = opportunity to act out (trying to have a life enabled him) 03:52 Time heals wounds but IT DOES NOT HEAL THIS (why waiting doesn't work) 04:54 The GUILT TRIP: "You're supposed to FORGIVE me" 06:04 The addicts delusion 07:01 What happens when there are no consequences 07:56 "Created BAD FIGHTS so I'd stop talking?" 09:56 Quick acceptance of lies = back to STATUS QUO 10:24 "Console me when you should confront me" (when he camped on his bad past) 11:50 Empathy or something else: What ACTUALLY got his attention ⭐ 13:35 "Tell her to back off" - when people enabled his addiction -- -- Who is This Channel For? If your marriage has been impacted by addiction — whether you're the one struggling or the one carrying the pain — this channel is for you. Our marriage was nearly destroyed by Jay's compulsive pornography use. We found a way through it. Now, as Trauma-Trained Certified Mentors, we help couples find the peace, trust, and connection they're looking for. #betrayaltrauma #relationships #addictionrecovery #marriageadvice #lies #deception To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/28EfZh4vJ4yQbb... To Say Thanks ("Tip Jar") - https://buy.stripe.com/28EfZh4vJ4yQbb...