Why Couples Have The Same Fight Again & Again - Figs O'Sullivan

Talking points: couples therapy, emotions, modern culture, empathy Delighted to have the wit and wisdom of Figs O'Sullivan to contend with once again. It's been too long! We cover a lot of ground, specifically around couples therapy, so I encourage you to check the timestamps and listen in. (00:00:00) - As people learn more “therapy-speak” and watch more TikTok “experts”, how is that filtering down into relationships? (00:06:49) - Why do some people default to blaming their partner when things don’t go well? (00:09:35) - Why talk about diagnosing partners yourself is so difficult, and how competency can actually, sometimes, make you IN-competent (00:18:24) - What’s your opinion on modern therapy infiltrating culture the way it has? (00:22:49) - Is modern therapy set up well enough to truly help men? (00:31:31) - Why do couples fight over and over—and what do they fight about? (00:36:19) - The emotional pursuer and emotional withdrawer dynamic (00:43:23) - What are some ways out of that dynamic? (00:46:17) - What gets in the way of empathy, and how can that be overcome? (00:53:09) - What does good couples therapy entail, and how do you know it’s working? (00:57:18) - It’s important to pay attention to the ease of things as well as hard stuff Figs O’Sullivan was bred and emboldened in Dublin, Ireland, and immigrated to the Marin County and San Francisco area in 1994. He was drawn to psychotherapy and self-exploration to better open to, move through, and heal his own emotional pain and suffering, and the last of his family to do so. Figs’ father is an experiential therapist in Ireland, his mother a social worker/probation officer, and his sister is also a psychotherapist in the Bay Area. He received a BA and MA in Economics from Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland before moving to the States and working as a stockbroker, employee stock options specialist, and executive. He quit the corporate world and attended Esalen in Big Sur, immersing himself in the study of existential psychotherapies, spirituality, body-oriented/somatic modalities, and the therapeutic expressive arts such as drama and dance as ways to uncage life, access inner wisdom, and build capacities for growth and transformation. Figs went on to receive an MA in Counseling Psychology from Meridian University in Petaluma. He has also extensively studied Gestalt Awareness Practice, Emotionally Focused Therapy (a highly effective form of marriage counseling), Imago, Collaborative Couples Therapy, Experiential Psychotherapy for Couples, Gottman’s work, and more. Connect with Figs -Website: https://empathi.com/ -Podcast: Come Here To Me: https://get.empathi.com/comehere -Instagram:   / empathinow   -YouTube:    / @figsandteale   *** Release porn as a crutch, reclaim your time, and recover intimacy. Introducing the Porn Detox Program: https://mantalks.com/porn/ This episode was brought to you by Cured Nutrition! Cured offers everything from CBD to functional mushroom products to adaptogens designed to help the body thrive in all aspects of the daily human experience. Personal favorite? The Zen sleep bundle. Get 20% off your order here: https://www.curednutrition.com/mantalks/ My book, Men's Work: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Stay Connected Instagram:   / mantalks   Facebook:   / mantalks.ca   Website: https://mantalks.com Subscribe to the podcast here: Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/show/7pERITP... Apple Podcasts - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... #nofap #MensWork #adviceformen