I had to travel abroad in search of greener pastures, but I was still haunted there.

Jane Kamau was born and raised in Naivasha. Her childhood wasn’t marked by poverty, but she and her siblings were brought up by a single mother who was constantly working and emotionally unavailable. Though she provided materially, Jane felt deeply unloved and emotionally neglected. Struggling academically in primary school, Jane was often compared unfavorably to her siblings, which severely affected her self-esteem. After completing Form Four, she became pregnant and fell into a deep depression. She dropped out of school temporarily, isolating herself at home. Two months later, she suffered a miscarriage. When she returned to school, things were far from easy. She was mocked by fellow students who falsely accused her of having had an abortion. Later, she moved to Nakuru to pursue a computer course, but a disagreement with her sister forced her to return home. Her depression worsened and lasted nearly a year. Eventually, Jane was enrolled in college, but during her first semester, she became pregnant again. Overwhelmed by shame, she avoided antenatal care. She later went to stay with her sister and sought medical attention. After undergoing scans, doctors couldn’t detect the baby’s heartbeat. Her sister advised her to return home. While in labor, she traveled back, enduring intense pain. The next day, her mother took her to the hospital on foot. Despite offers of help from kind strangers, her mother refused assistance. Upon arrival, doctors confirmed that the baby had died. Jane was devastated and began blaming her mother, feeling deeply neglected. She later found a job, but her mental health remained fragile. The pain of losing her second child lingered. Seeking a fresh start, she traveled to Lebanon for work. Her experience there was positive until her employer passed away, triggering another wave of depression. She returned to Kenya, but things didn’t improve. Her luggage was stolen by a cart pusher, though she managed to keep her handbag with her phone and passport. Back home, she continued to feel rejected by her family. She moved to Nairobi with friends and was introduced to bhang (cannabis). Eventually, she realized this lifestyle wasn’t what she wanted. She gave her life to Christ and relocated to Thika, where she found a supportive church community. However, rejection followed her even at work, and her situation deteriorated again. Seeking spiritual help, she visited another pastor. Instead of offering genuine support, he behaved inappropriately—applying oil directly to her private parts and claiming she was possessed by a spirit of prostitution. Jane’s story is a painful reflection on how early emotional rejection and neglect can shape a person’s life. Her journey reveals the deep scars left by abandonment, shame, and exploitation—but also her persistent search for healing and dignity.