I have Given Up, and that is Scary

Hey all! I have been getting really angry, and the suicidal thoughts have not stopped. At first those thoughts were terrifying, now they don't seam to bother me, and that is what has me scared. I have no idea why i even recorded this, and i don't care. I don't seam to care about anything. I am sitting here at my desk, holding a bottle of Hydrocoden, thinking that if i take enough, I will just go to sleep, and not wake up. It scares me that I don't seam to even care if i did. I am tired of being in pain, and dealing with my disabled father. I am tired of not having a job, and being to lazy to fix it, and I am tired of going through life, and having nothing but another empty day passing by on the way to the grave. I keep thinking, that no one will miss me, and that the world would be better off without me. I am scared, not because i want to kill myself, but because i would not care if i did. #depression #suicide