Understanding Romantic Obsession And Finding Your Way Back To Authentic Love With Amanda McCracken

Have you ever been completely consumed by someone who wasn't fully available — checking your phone, replaying every interaction, holding onto hope even when the signs said let go? You might be experiencing limerence. And in this video, journalist and limerence expert Amanda McCracken breaks down exactly what it is, why it happens, and how to finally find your way back to authentic love. Amanda McCracken is an award-winning journalist passionate about experiences that highlight the intersection of wellness, travel, and relationships. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Washington Post, Guardian, Vogue, National Geographic, Elle, NPR, Outside, ESPN, SELF, Runner’s World, and many others. She published her first article about longing in 2013, which led to additional articles featuring personal anecdotes and deep research and interviews with the BBC and Katie Couric. She is now considered a “limerence expert” and intimacy advocate. Her 2023 TED Talk, “How Longing Keeps Us From Healthy Relationships,” and her podcast, The Longing Lab, highlight how longing can become self sabotaging and shares how to change our patterns of longing. McCracken is also a part-time university instructor, massage therapist, triathlon coach, and competitive athlete. Raised in Cincinnati, Ohio, McCracken put down roots with her husband and daughter in Boulder, Colorado, after a trip around the world aboard the Peace Boat. Amanda dated over 100 men, held onto her virginity until she was 41, and spent a decade researching romantic obsession before writing her debut book, When Longing Becomes Your Lover. In this conversation with host Gabriella Espinosa, she gets honest about the patterns that kept real love at arm's length — and the practical work that changed everything. If you have ever felt like love was always just one more text, one more trip, one more what-if away, this conversation is for you. What you'll learn in this video: *What limerence actually is and how it differs from a regular crush *Why the brain gets hooked on the chase — the trigger, behavior, and dopamine reward loop keeping you stuck *How growing up in purity culture, earning love, and fearing intimacy shaped Amanda's patterns for decades *The tools that helped her break free: cognitive reappraisal, nervous system regulation, EMDR, and a nightly mantra *What healthy, realistic love actually looks and feels like in midlife — and why trust comes before love If this conversation resonated with you, please like this video, subscribe to the channel, and share it with a woman in your life who needs to hear it. 📖 When Longing Becomes Your Lover by Amanda McCracken — available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Bookshop CONNECT WITH AMANDA MCCRACKEN: Website: http://www.amandajmccracken.com When Longing Becomes Your Lover: https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/tit... The Longing Lab: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... TEDx talk:    • How longing keeps us from healthy relation...   NYT story on limerence: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/01/27/st... Instagram:   / amandajmccracken   TikTok:   / thelonginglab   ------------ Get Your Free Pleasure Upgrade Bundle! ♥️ https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/gift (7-Day Journal + Breathing Meditation + Pleasure Checklist) ------------ More helpful resources: • All Episodes: https://www.pleasureinthepause.com/ • Instagram:   / gabriellaespinosa   • About Gabriella: https://www.gabriellaespinosa.com/ ------------ #Limerence #RomanticObsession #PleasureInThePause #MidlifeWomen #HealthyRelationships #ModernDating #WomenOver40 Chapters: 00:00 Introduction — What Is Limerence? 04:05 Welcome Amanda McCracken 09:29 Why the Brain Prefers the Chase 15:00 The Trigger, Behavior, and Dopamine Reward Loop 21:04 Mantras, Nervous System Work, and Rewiring the Brain 32:14 What Healthy, Realistic Love Looks Like in Midlife 38:03 It Is Never Too Late for Love 42:16 Where to Find Amanda and Her Book The information shared on Pleasure in the Pause is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider before making any decisions about your health or treatment. The views expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the host or Pleasure in the Pause.