Researchers Asked Men One Question. The Answers Were Terrifying.

A new study surveyed nearly 2,700 men in the United States and Canada and asked a disturbing question: what strategies have you used to get sex from women who didn't want it? The answers challenge one of the most common narratives around consent. In this video, relationship coach and abuse recovery expert Lisa Sonni breaks down the findings of the study, examines the tactics men anonymously admitted to using, and explores what those admissions reveal about coercion, pressure, manipulation, and the reality many women have been describing for years. The study is called “Isolate, Inebriate, Intimidate, Repeat” by Lucia F. O’Sullivan and Scott T. Ronis, first published online April 2, 2026 in Journal of Interpersonal Violence. It asked men about strategies they used to get sex from women who “did not want to have sex or acted like she did not want to,” specifically women they had recently met with no prior dating or sexual history. We discuss: • The most common tactics men admitted using after being told "no" • The difference between persuasion and coercion • Why repeated pressure is not consent • The role of isolation, alcohol, and social influence • Why the "he didn't know" excuse falls apart under scrutiny • How coercive behavior is normalized in dating culture • Why women freeze, fawn, comply, or go along with situations that feel unsafe • The hidden dynamics behind sexual coercion and consent • What women can do to recognize red flags and protect themselves Whether you agree or disagree with the conclusions, the findings themselves deserve serious discussion. Subscribe for more conversations about toxic relationships, abuse recovery, dating culture, coercive control, manipulation tactics, narcissistic abuse, emotional abuse, relationship psychology, trauma recovery, and women's safety. #Consent #DatingAdvice #Relationships #WomenSafety #SexualCoercion #ToxicRelationships #AbuseRecovery #RelationshipAdvice #DatingCulture #Psychology –––––––––––––––––– About Lisa Sonni: Lisa Sonni is a certified relationship coach, author, and educator specializing in toxic, abusive, and narcissistic relationships. Through her coaching, books, and educational content, she helps women recognize manipulation, heal from abuse, and rebuild healthy lives after toxic relationships. Subscribe for more videos that expose abuse tactics and answer the questions you've always wondered about toxic and abusive relationships. RESOURCES FROM LISA Get more education, 24/7 healing and resources inside my online community She Rises Collective: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/membership Join our 12-Week Group Coaching Programs with me and Dr. Peter Salerno https://strongerthanbefore.ca/group-c... FREE QUIZZES Are You Trauma Bonded? Take this free 2 minute quiz with instant results: https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/trau... Where Am I In My Healing? Take this free 2 minute quiz with instant results: https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/to/x... TALK TO LISA Work With Me Book a 1:1 Recovery Strategy Session or a Coaching Package https://strongerthanbefore.ca/book-a-... Trauma Bond Recovery Course https://strongerthanbefore.ca/trauma-... Website https://strongerthanbefore.ca About Lisa Sonni Abusive relationship educator and trauma bond recovery expert. Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, creator of the Break & Rebuild Method, and author of four abuse-recovery books. Host of Relationships Uncensored Podcast. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #TraumaBonding #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #HealingFromTrauma #ToxicRelationships ⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not therapy or medical advice. Always seek professional help for your specific situation. 01:29 What The Researchers Actually Asked Men 03:24 The Disturbing Number Men Admitted To It 05:11 The Most Common Tactic Men Use 05:47 Persuasion vs Coercion 07:24 Why Men Keep Pushing After "No" 10:18 How Friends Become Part Of The Strategy 11:59 Isolate, Inebriate, Intimidate 13:27 The Men Knew Women Didn't Want It 15:04 Why Some Men See Coercion As A Skill 16:35 Why Men Said They Did It 18:25 Why There Are So Few Consequences 19:45 The "Miscommunication" Excuse Falls Apart 20:40 Why Women Freeze, Fawn, Or Comply 22:36 Why Female Friends Can Create False Safety 23:48 What This Looks Like Inside Relationships 26:02 The Cultural Messages Men Learn About Consent 27:43 What Women Should Take Away From This 28:37 The Question We Should Be Asking Men 29:11 Final Thoughts