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"Parents are our first, most important love," says Katarzyna Miller in the podcast "Coffee Break About Love." In a conversation with Joanna Olekszyk, the psychotherapist discusses the relationships that shape us for life. She discusses gratitude, rebellion, disappointment, and why true closeness with parents often begins only when we stop idealizing them. The episode's sponsor and partner is Pandora. A Love That Grows with Us The relationship with parents is not a finite story. It changes throughout our lives. In childhood, we need care, in adolescence, we fight for independence, and later, we often struggle to find a balance between closeness and autonomy. Mature love for parents doesn't mean blind admiration or the erasure of all wrongs. It means accepting the truth. Acknowledging both what we received and what we lacked. In the latest episode of the podcast "Coffee Break About Love," Joanna Olekszyk, editor-in-chief of "Zwierciadło," talks with Katarzyna Miller about whether love for parents truly comes naturally and why so many adults spend years trying to sort out this relationship. "Parents are our first, most important love," the psychotherapist reminds us. These few words hold the answer to the question of why family bonds can be so strong, even when accompanied by regret, anger, or a sense of dissatisfaction. Why is rebellion against parents necessary? In a culture that often demands unconditional obedience from children, rebellion is still perceived as inappropriate. Katarzyna Miller offers a different perspective. "You need to talk back to your parents a little," she says bluntly. She believes that healthy separation from parents is a necessary stage of adolescence. Without it, it's difficult to build your own identity, your own beliefs, and your own way of experiencing the world. This is especially true for girls raised to be excessively polite. "Moms want their daughters to be submissive, and then their emotional development stalls," the psychologist notes. Many of us learn beliefs from home that later hinder building a fulfilling life. We hear that it's not worth being too good, that nobility doesn't pay, that the world rewards cleverness and toughness. As Joanna Olekszyk notes, we often hear from our parents that "it doesn't pay to be good and noble because you get a slap in the face." Such messages stay with us for a long time and influence the way we build relationships with others. Children Are Not Saints. Parents Need Understanding Too In recent years, there has been much talk about parenting mistakes and traumas learned at home. Psychotherapy has helped to name many wounds, but sometimes the pendulum swings the other way. "I understand children's rebellion, but I've begun to understand how parents feel about it. Children can be a real drag. Parents mainly need to hear 'thank you,'" admits Katarzyna Miller. The psychotherapist also reminds us that children are naturally self-focused. "Children are incredibly self-centered, which is natural because they're focused on their own development," she explains. Only adulthood offers the opportunity to look at family histories from a broader perspective. This raises the question, which Joanna Olekszyk raises in her interview: do we even understand our parents? Between Resentment and Gratitude People who want to repair their relationship with their mother or father often come to therapy. Katarzyna Miller, however, notices a certain pattern. "The most common problems with parents are those who haven't matured yet and hold the greatest resentment against their parents," she says. This doesn't mean invalidating difficult experiences. The psychotherapist emphasizes that finding the root of problems is important. "Many people accuse us of blaming our parents, but that's not true. The point is to find the root," she explains. True maturity begins when we see our parents not as heroes or culprits, but as ordinary people with their own limitations. Love Expressed Every Day The episode is sponsored by Pandora, a brand that has been reminding us for years that love comes in many forms and is not limited to romantic relationships. The BE LOVE campaign encourages us to recognize everyday gestures of care, gratitude, and closeness – including those directed at parents. Sometimes a sincere "thank you" means more than the most sublime declarations. And it is often with such small gestures that a more mature, more conscious love begins. Pictured: Katarzyna Miller and Joanna Olekszyk wearing Pandora jewelry as part of the BE LOVE CAMPAIGN. The episode is sponsored by Pandora.