信頼ができる人、できない人の見分け方　#心理

04:11 People you can trust (leaders) 06:18 People you can't trust 11:13 When we're weak, we tend to look for convenient leaders and saviors Today, I'd like to talk about the theme of "Trustworthy and Untrustworthy People". In the outpatient clinic, patients say things like, "Can I trust this person?", "I was stupid to trust this person," or ask, "What kind of people should I trust?", or "Are there people I shouldn't trust?" Depending on the situation, I say, "You're weak in this area, so if they do this to you, you'll probably be deceived." Most of the time, they just ignore it. Many people who can't tell the difference between trustworthy and untrustworthy people are "people who go out of their way to be deceived." When I ask them if the people around them said they could trust them, they say, "Yes, my family and friends all tell me not to." So there's no need to ask me in the first place. You should never trust that person, and if you're in a relationship, you should break up. Because the people around you say so. But they don't do that. I hope that by talking about trustworthy and untrustworthy people again, you can think objectively. The books I used as references when filming the video are: Becoming a Leader (Warren Bennis, Umi to Getsusha, 2008) Life is More Determined by the Power to Make People Mislead, Than by Luck or Ability (Fromda, Diamond Inc., 2018) The Psychological Techniques of Persuasion (Dave Lakhani, Direct Publishing, 2013) Young business YouTubers read brainwashing books such as The Psychological Techniques of Persuasion and use various techniques in their videos (even if they are not intending to deceive). This is fine if it is on TV or YouTube, but if you are close to such people, you will be deceived, so you should be careful. ■Trustworthy People (Leaders) According to Warren Bennis's "Becoming a Leader," good trustworthy leaders are as follows. 1. Leaders who have guidelines and visions They have a core in life 2. Passion They are devoted to something 3. Sincerity ・Know yourself ・Openness, maturity 4. Already trusted by those around you It's hard to find someone from scratch, so choose someone who is trusted by those around you to a certain extent. 5. Curiosity and courage I myself try to be a trustworthy person while thinking about these five points. In terms of my YouTube, 1. Guidelines: Do it every day, and do things related to treatment such as explaining the disease 2. Passion: Passion for psychiatry 3. Sincerity: I've seen doctors who are better than me, so I think I know myself in that sense. 4. Trust: I think I'm trusted to a certain extent 5. Curiosity and courage: I think I have curiosity. I'm also fearless when I'm on YouTube. ■ People you can't trust 1. People who approach you when you're in trouble There are people who approach you to help those in trouble, but people who are truly untrustworthy will approach you even more. They will get really close. They will get in a place that you wouldn't get close to without ulterior motives. Even if you're a friend, when they come in, it's a sign that some kind of problem will occur. Even if you want to help, there are limits to what you can do. However, if you approach someone without knowing what you can and cannot do, it can cause trouble later on. 2. People who give convenient answers There is a saying that goes, "Don't rub salt in the wound when you're in trouble," but trustworthy people will say things that will make the wound wider in some ways. On the other hand, you should not trust people who don't make the wound wider. ・"You'll lose out," speaking quickly People tend to trust others when they say "You'll lose out" or speak quickly. When someone tells you that you'll lose out, you feel anxious and have to make a decision quickly, and when they talk fast, you lose the ability to think for yourself and are more likely to say yes. It's best to be careful of people who use this technique. ・The worse the person, the more you want to trust them It seems that humans tend to trust people more when they're bad. We sometimes trust them in the opposite pattern, thinking that because they're bad, they know the secret ways and can do all sorts of things. They tend to rationalize that they are cute or excellent, and create a fiction that they are the only ones who will not deceive or help them. 3. Halo effect When one ability is outstanding, other abilities also appear to be high. This is called the "halo effect." A person who is excellent as a salesperson may be thought to be knowledgeable about other things such as taxes and science, but since humans tend to distribute abilities to about the same extent, if a person specializes in one thing, other abilities are almost always low. They do not have time to train other things. There are times when there are people who can do everything, but basically everyone has the same abilities. 4. Number of simple contacts When you meet someone many times, y...