Breaking the Cycle of Men’s Sexual Anxiety, with Kate Moyle

Why does sex become more difficult the more we care about someone? In this conversation, I sit down with psychosexual and relationship therapist Kate Moyle to unpack the psychology behind performance anxiety, modern sexual culture, and why so many men feel pressure to perform instead of connect. We explore how stress, distraction, shame, relationship dynamics, and unrealistic expectations affect intimacy, along with practical ways to build healthier communication, confidence, and connection in the bedroom. Whether you're navigating anxiety around sex or simply want a deeper understanding of intimacy, this conversation offers practical insights grounded in both science and clinical experience. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 – Introducing Kate Moyle 00:20 – What a Psychosexual Therapist Does 02:56 – Is Modern Sexual Culture Broken? 05:52 – Performance vs Presence in Sex 08:13 – Why Anxiety Shows Up During Intimacy 11:08 – Changing Gender Roles and Sexual Expectations 13:46 – The Biopsychosocial Model Explained 15:04 – Everyday Stressors That Affect Sex 18:29 – Creating the Conditions for Great Sex 22:06 – Porn, Media and Unrealistic Expectations 26:13 – Why Communication Is Essential for Great Sex 29:57 – Attunement Over Performance 31:30 – Pleasure vs Performance 35:57 – Understanding Unreliable Erections 38:29 – The Psychology of Performance Anxiety 46:41 – Breaking the Anxiety Cycle 53:35 – Addressing Shame Around Sexual Performance 56:52 – Masculinity, Potency and Self-Worth 59:26 – When Relationship Issues Affect Intimacy 01:03:13 – Where to Find Kate Moyle 📘 RESOURCES: How To Quit Porn guide - https://training.mantalks.com/Quit My book, Men's Work: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Online men’s group, The Alliance: https://mantalks.com/alliance/ 🔗 CONNECT WITH ME Follow the journey on Instagram:   / mantalks   Visit the website for more resources and tools: https://mantalks.com Join the newsletter: https://training.mantalks.com/newslet... ⚡️ WHO IS CONNOR BEATON & MANTALKS? Welcome to the ManTalks YouTube channel. I’m Connor Beaton, and my mission is to help men break through the barriers holding them back. Whether it’s in your relationships, your career, or your mental health, this channel is dedicated to giving you the tools, conversations, and insights you need to step into the man you’re meant to be. Here, you’ll find real, unfiltered discussions on relationships, masculinity, purpose, and self-mastery. Subscribe, tune in, and start living a life with more depth, purpose, and power.