Interior Monologues

Music & Lyrics by Schalusina All rights reserved © Schalusina 2026 A weary grievance drifts through the smoke, Midnight again, the same table, the same glass, Like I've been standing at this crossroads For twenty years — and I still cannot pass. Your soul wanders without an anchor, Restless as the tide before the storm, And I have grown so tired of reaching For you in the places where you once were warm. I asked myself a hundred times, Somewhere between the silence and the fight — Is this love, or is this just surviving? Did I lose what's wrong, or did I lose what's right? I'm tired of the same old grieving, This friction wearing down my bones, Even when I cannot find my breathing — You're still the reason I come home. Interior monologues at midnight, Like trains that never learn to stop — They run right through me, leave their echo, And I'm still standing, shaking, at the top. I searched for blame in every mirror And found myself beneath the weight, I burned in silence, cold as embers — Now I see the lock, but where's the gate? Is it poison dressed as comfort, Is it habit wearing love's disguise? I have wandered lost between the two now, Reading answers in your tired eyes. But something shifted deep inside me, A voice I'd buried learning how to rise — It speaks now in my own tongue, my own language, And for once, it doesn't compromise. If walking away is the answer, This time I'll be the one who finds the door — For the first time stepping into darkness, And that darkness finally feels like mine. I'm done with all this quiet grieving, Done letting silence swallow me whole — I'm walking now toward my own breathing, Toward the long-forgotten sound of my soul. Interior monologues, be silent, Let the midnight trains pass without me now — Because it wasn't you who wore me threadbare, It was my own voice that I disavowed. Maybe silence will be kind to me someday... Because it wasn't you I lost the most — It was my own voice, all along...