How Do You Stay At Church When You've Seen Too Much? | Rev. Dr. Brianna Parker

What happens when the people who helped shape your faith become the very people who wound it? In this honest and deeply personal conversation, Lisa Fields sits down with Rev. Dr. Brianna K. Parker to discuss the reality of church hurt, leadership failures, betrayal, and the difficult question many believers are asking: Is it still worth staying? Rather than offering easy answers, they explore what it looks like to pursue healing instead of bitterness, why social media often rewards outrage over restoration, and how to hold onto Jesus when people let you down. In this episode, you'll hear about: Why church hurt doesn't have to define your faith The difference between accountability and revenge Why healing is harder—and more valuable—than building an identity around pain How to discern whether it's time to stay, leave, or simply let go What faithfulness looks like in a culture obsessed with calling people out For more, grab Lisa's book “When Heroes Fall" here: https://lisavfields.com wherever books are sold. 00:00 - Intro: The pool at Bethesda & social media ministries built on brokenness 01:18 - Welcome to Jude 3 Project Podcast with Dr. Brianna Parker 02:28 - Why this book matters right now 03:30 - "Do you want to be made well?" — getting stuck in woundedness 04:23 - Building a brand around dysfunction 05:12 - Can social media hold space for healing? 06:27 - Personal betrayal: choosing silence over the platform 08:36 - Letting your life do the talking (the Joseph principle) 09:21 - Called vs. just showing up: refusing revenge 10:23 - "You're not the bad guy — stop plotting" 13:11 - The double standard women face when sharing pain 14:40 - Why Christians side with offenders 15:14 - Letting go of the blacklist 17:35 - Refusing to give your worst to the best people 23:35 - When your theological heroes disappoint you (living vs. dead) 25:12 - Vengeance, timing, and the Spirit Airlines example 27:11 - Church culture: "if it's not illegal, they don't care" 28:29 - Waiting for others to feel your trauma will keep you stuck 30:10 - Generational differences in processing harm 33:15 - What to do with messages from compromised leaders 34:48 - Is this God or is this evil? Discerning success 36:29 - 1 Peter and why how leaders treat their spouse matters 38:35 - The pressure to preach through your pain 40:35 - Closing word to next-gen leaders 41:47 - Fidelity over clout and proximity 44:09 - You can't miss God — authenticity wins 45:35 - Final thanks & where to get the book Subscribe for more conversations that help you know what you believe and why you believe it. Support the mission and vision of Jude 3 Project here: https://www.jude3project.org/donate Grab our curriculum here: https://www.jude3project.org Take an online course that will help you know what you believe and why here: https://learn.jude3project.org/library/