L'erreur que les coeurs brisés commettent avec un ex évitant

Coaching with me: https://forms.gle/oDt9LqRYFM3xk9YRA After a breakup, the pain is intense, and the other person's silence is agonizing. It's natural to want to get back in touch with your ex. We believe that a simple message could change everything and rekindle love. But you have to find the courage to rebuild yourself and overcome a breakup. Don't contact someone with an avoidant attachment style after a breakup, as this risks reinforcing their avoidance and defense mechanisms. Avoidant people tend to perceive intimacy as a threat and feel invaded when you try to get closer to them, especially after a separation. Reaching out to them can reignite a feeling of pressure or control, reinforcing their belief that distance is necessary for self-protection. Silence, on the other hand, can allow them to reflect without feeling cornered, and potentially come back on their own if they feel the desire. Most importantly, it's a way to preserve yourself, protect yourself, and move forward without remaining dependent. You deserve better! ---------------------------------------------------------------- 📖 CHAPTERS OF THIS VIDEO 00:00 When you still love 00:42 Re-contacting only adds to your suffering 02:28 Re-contacting pushes you to flee 02:38 Avoidant people prefer to leave rather than talk 03:04 Re-contacting delays your healing 04:04 Coming back denies your pain 05:26 You deserve better 05:57 The pain will pass ---------------------------------------------------------------- 📕 Attachment theory was developed in the 1950s by the British psychiatrist John Bowlby. By observing children separated from their parents during World War II, he highlighted the essential role of early emotional bonding in development. According to him, attachment is a primary need: the child seeks the proximity of a protective figure to ensure their safety, emotional balance, and healthy psychological development. Bowlby thus paved the way for a new understanding of the parent-child relationship, showing that the quality of this attachment has a lasting influence on how children relate to others. Psychologist Mary Ainsworth validated this theory with the famous "Strange Situation" experiment, observing a child's reaction to separation and reunion. This experiment identified different attachment styles: Secure: trust in the availability of the attachment figure; calm exploration; stable adult relationships. Insecure-avoidant: minimization of attachment needs, apparent independence but emotional repression; emotional distance in adulthood. Insecure-anxious: uncertainty, alternating between intense need and fear of rejection; relationships marked by fear of abandonment. Disorganized: attachment mixing comfort and fear, often linked to trauma; contradictory behaviors and relationship difficulties. ---------------------------------------------------------------- BOOKS 📕 "Understanding Attachment and Its Disorders: Theory and Practice" Authors: Vivien Prior, Danya Glase / Publisher: De Boeck Sup / Year: 2022 📕 "Cut Off from Others, Cut Off from Oneself: When Emotional Distance Masks Attachment Wounds" Author: Gwénaëlle Persiaux / Publisher: Eyrolles / Year: 2022 📕 "Healing Attachment Wounds" Author: Gwénaëlle Persiaux / Publisher: Eyrolles / Year: 2021 📕 "Attachment: Theoretical Approach and Assessment" Authors: Nicole Guedeney, Antoine Guedeney, Susana Tereno / Publisher: Elsevier Masson / Year: 2021 📕 "Attachment and Loss" Volume 2 - Separation, Anguish, and Anger Author: John Bowlby / Publisher: PUF / Year: 2007 📕 "Attachment and Loss". Volume 1 - Attachment Author: John Bowlby / Publisher: Basic Books / Year: 1990