Forty Moments for 40 - Birthday 2026 Video

I turn 40 on May 29th 2026. Doing so on my first day home from my fourth cycle of Chemotherapy. My mind is certainly a bit adrift, thoughts growing quick to cloud and dissipate. But the sun is coming through my window, and my cat is sitting where it's beams kindly land. For the last several years I've asked my friends and community to send me snippets of the ordinary beauty of their worlds. Over the last few years I've done the same, but challenged myself to collect "40 bits of Forty", kindly assembled and edited for maximum impact by my dear roomie Andy. Last year my video was tuned by a track from Foreign Fields. I tried to resist over the last few months, but they seem to have won the job this year too. Last year's theme was the "beauty of survival" well this year has been a return to some of the weightier parts of life's fragility. I started diving into their album Take Cover when I noticed a song literally called "Weeping Red Devil" (the "Red Devil" being a common colloquialism for doxorubicin, one of the heavier drugs I'm currently on). But this particular track "I Killed You In the Morning" had some striking lyrical connections to the challenges and demands of this season in my life. So this "birthday" video ends a bit stark, and in a "held breath". But there is gratitude and wonder, beauty (even in sadness), better a cup of grief shared with friends, than laughter alone? I guess I'll wait and see. Much love to all of you who have journey'd and supported me through this season of storm. I do love you, you know? Foreign Fields - I Killed You in the Morning (From.. Take Cover - 2016) I killed you in the morning I wouldn't let your hair grow You waited for an answer Just need to let it go Just need to let it go Don't fight what you can't see dear Play part in your fragile frontier One day we will find you there Full grown in your meadowlark hair I wish I was a painter I'd paint you in the picture as you are And I wouldn't change a color You would never know And it's time to let it go I killed you in the evening I wouldn't let your voice sound anymore You're reaching for an answer I wouldn't let is show It's time to let it go I loved you in the morning (Don't fight what you can't see dear) I pulled apart the pieces (Play part in your fragile frontier) You're desperate for an answer (One day we will find you there) It's time to let it go (Full grown in your meadowlark hair) Just need to let it go You look me in the eye And ask me to believe That nothing's gonna change I couldn't see your feet I guess I am afraid (Don't fight it) I won't know what it means (You're weightless) To reach into the sky (Don't fight me) Float off on the breeze (Just wait and see) I guess I'll wait and see