Why Trying to Fix Everyone Is Making You Miserable with Elena Brower - Terri Cole

Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love. We’ve been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space? In this episode, Elena Brower—bestselling author of Hold Nothing: An Invitation to Let Go and Come Home to Yourself—shares her profound journey from high-functioning perfectionism to a life of presence and service. We dive deep into: 🔸The Perfectionism Trap: Why your need to "fix" is actually a defense mechanism. 🔸The Art of Listening: How to stop "auto-advice giving" and truly be present for others. 🔸Lessons from Hospice: How serving the dying changed the way she parents and lives. 🔸Creative Discipline: Why writing is a daily practice, not a talent. If you are tired of carrying the weight of the world, this conversation is your permission slip to put it down. Find Elena at: https://elenabrower.com   / elenabrower   📚 Too Much Book: https://hfcbook.com 📩 Newsletter: https://terricole.com/newsletter 🔑 Ready to build healthier relationships? Join: https://terricole.com/tcm Time Stamps 00:00 The struggle to let go of control 02:37 Elena Brower’s origin story: Reading as a haven 05:39 The shift from commerce to service 07:48 Writing Hold Nothing: The humbling process 11:35 Overcoming the perfectionism of childhood 14:08 The power of "Listening before Speaking" 17:01 Lessons from Hospice: Serving without fixing 21:30 The "Auto-Fixer" trap in relationships 25:46 Staying consistent with your own practice 30:19 Dealing with resistance and writing daily 34:02 Where to find Elena Brower If You Enjoyed This, Watch These Videos    • 5 Behaviors That Reveal a Lack of Emotiona...   - 5 Behaviors That Reveal a Lack of Emotional Safety    • How to Build Emotional Intelligence and St...   - How to Build Emotional Intelligence and Stop Reacting to Everything    • 5 Toxic Behaviors People Mistake for Healt...   - 5 Toxic Behaviors People Mistake for Healthy Boundaries    • 4 Things to Say Instead of Taking Responsi...   - 4 Things to Say Instead of Taking Responsibility for Everyone 🪔 Meditate with me: https://insighttimer.com/terricole 📸 Instagram: https://terricole.com/ig About Terri Cole Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, global relationship and empowerment expert, and the author of Boundary Boss-The Essential Guide to Talk True, Be Seen and (Finally) Live Free, The Boundary Boss Workbook, and Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency. For over two decades, Terri has worked with a diverse group of clients that includes everyone from stay-at-home moms to celebrities and Fortune 500 CEOs. She has a gift for making complex psychological concepts accessible and actionable so that clients and students achieve sustainable change. She inspires over a million people weekly through her blog, social media platform, signature courses, and her popular podcast, The Terri Cole Show. For more, see https://www.terricole.com/ BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/terricole I’m not currently taking any new one-on-one therapy or coaching clients, but highly recommend using BetterHelp to find a therapist that fits your needs. As a team, we have fully vetted BetterHelp's resources. https://www.terricole.com/gethelp/ -- If you are in a crisis or any other person may be in danger, the resources on this page can provide you with immediate help. Please note: If you choose to sign up for BetterHelp or Insight Timer or buy through my Amazon links, I will receive a commission. Please know that I only recommend services and products that I know & trust. #peoplepleasing #codependencyrecovery #perfectionism #emotionalhealing #mindfulness #selfgrowth #personaldevelopment