Que recompensa eu busco?

Tolstoy wrote in War and Peace that the great battles of history are not fought only on the battlefields, but within the human heart. Between ambitions and fears, what truly moves each of us? It's easy to think that people act out of ideals, vocation, or love—but if we look deeper, we will see a labyrinth of hidden intentions. The human heart is, as the Psalm says, an abyss: "Man is impenetrable, his heart is a deep." In truth, almost everything in life is a silent battle between purity and selfishness. Even in the most beautiful works—a piece of music, a prayer, a generous gesture—murky intentions can be mixed in: the desire to be admired, to be praised, to be recognized. But the gaze of Christ, which penetrates the deepest part of us, does not condemn us—He purifies us. It is in this gaze that true righteousness of intention begins. A priest suggested to me, to keep my heart free, that I stop looking at the number of views on my YouTube videos. “It’s better not to know,” he said. “That way the heart doesn’t cling.” There’s wisdom in that. Because the heart, like a plant, grows where it receives the most sun. And if the light that nourishes it is applause, it dies of thirst when silence comes. But there is another way: to look to God, and not to the numbers. “When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,” said Jesus. Or, in other words: do good, and forget that you did it. That is the deepest battle—not against others, but against one's own pride. Mortification and prayer are the weapons. The first clears the ground; the second fills it with life. Maurice Blondel said: “What do we want, when we want everything we want?” In the end, it’s always love. However distorted it may be, it is always love that moves us. At the end of War and Peace, a disillusioned character finds redemption not in glory, but in forgiveness. He discovers that love—the love of a woman, the merciful love of God—"explained everything to him." This phrase, more than philosophical, is theological: "Love explained everything to me. Love solved everything." When the heart is touched by this love, even our dragons become allies. Even pride, vanity, the desire to be seen, can be transformed into strength if they are integrated—if the gaze is purified by the presence of God. Even the eyes that once judged the world begin to see as the eyes of Christ: green eyes of hope, that see the presence of God in every detail, in every person, in every green light on the path. And then the battle for righteousness of intention becomes a dance: the soul, at last, learns to look only to Him—and to rejoice in what only He sees. 📌 “Love explained everything to me. Love solved everything.” 📖 (Saint John Paul II, poem of youth) 📚 References Ps 64(63), 7 – “Man is impenetrable, his heart is an abyss.” Mt 6, 1-6 – “When you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” Rm 8, 13 – “For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if you live according to the Spirit, you will live.” Eph 1, 4 – “God chose us before the foundation of the world to be holy in his sight, in love.” War and Peace, by Leo Tolstoy. Maurice Blondel, L’Action (1893). Live stream by Professor Diego Reis about Presence: https://www.youtube.com/live/m0QOkOWz...