You Can't Love It Out of Them: Trauma Therapist Ashlie West's Story of Foster Care and Adoption

Ashlie is a trauma therapist who became a foster parent — and spent the first two years learning how little her credentials prepared her. In this episode, she talks candidly about parenting children with complex trauma: a daughter with reactive attachment disorder who called her mommy and pushed her away in the same moment, the sibling group she took in on short notice, and the hard-won shift from trying to fix trauma through love to actually meeting each child where they were. She also shares what changed when she stopped trying to do it all herself — the outside therapy she put her kids in immediately, the bedtime ritual she built around affirmations and prayer, and the decision to tell her son Daniel, who had been through thirteen foster placements, that the choice to come to her family was entirely his. If you work with kids, foster or are considering it, or have ever had to set down a version of yourself that wasn't working — this one is worth your time. Subscribe for new episodes every week. Thanks to porterlaw.ms for supporting this episode.