Why Relationship Rules Backfire (And What to Build Instead)

Subscribe to the newsletter on Kit for deep dives and bonus resources: https://untamedember.kit.com Most of us have agreed to something in a relationship that we didn't actually choose. A rule that felt reasonable on the surface but quietly cost us something we couldn't quite name. In this talk, Dr. Misty (AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and licensed psychotherapist) breaks down the nervous system science behind why we reach for rules when we're scared, what rules actually do to the people who carry them, and what makes an agreement genuinely different. Three reflection pauses are embedded throughout so you can bring this into your own experience as you listen. What you'll walk away with: Why rules outsource nervous system regulation to your partner instead of building it The difference between formal consent and felt consent A single question to help you audit any structure in your relationship: whose nervous system was this made for? This is nervous system education for anyone navigating relationships, romantic, platonic, or otherwise. No resolution required.