2003 年咳血查出肺结核，我瞒着所有人硬扛自愈｜半生自卑、复读遗憾、错过保送、初恋一别半生的人生回忆录

四十多岁回望自己跌宕的前半生，一段完整走心个人回忆录。 从小骨子里自带自卑，泪痣敏感内向，幼时辗转乡村求学，小学考全乡第二名却因户籍错失县一中保送名额；两次高考复读，成绩不升反降，进入福建农林大学园艺专业，全程就读于漳州农校分校，满心落差。 大学不甘荒废，自学 PS、考过英语四级、自考厦门大学广告学本科，努力拿奖学金，也曾和同学罢课争取搬回福州本部就读；家境常年外强中干，父亲办厂常年亏损，从小到大深陷金钱焦虑。 毕业实习期在德克士后厨打工超负荷劳累，寒冬夜里突然咳血，确诊肺结核肺部感染过半，我选择隐瞒病情独自硬扛拖延治疗，休养许久肺部留下不可逆纤维化病根。 大学毕业晚会一首《海浪》开启短暂初恋，女友定居漳州安稳度日，我四处漂泊谋生，最后遗憾分手，一别半生。 细数童年委屈、身高自卑、求学遗憾、病痛磨难、爱情错过、半生漂泊，所有压抑与遗憾，都在这段回忆里慢慢和解。 你有没有一段藏在心底、独自硬扛的难熬往事？欢迎在评论区聊聊你的经历。 #个人回忆录 #人生感悟 #肺结核往事 #青春遗憾 #福建往事 #高考复读 #初恋回忆 #半生自述Looking back on my bumpy life in my forties, this is my sincere personal memoir. I was sensitive and insecure since childhood with a sentimental personality. I moved to study in mountain villages when I was young. I ranked second in the whole town in primary school graduation exam but lost the key admission quota for key junior high school due to household registration restrictions. I repeated the college entrance examination twice without better results, and was admitted to Horticulture major in Fujian Agriculture and Forestry University, studying at Zhangzhou Agricultural School branch with huge psychological gap. To change my fate, I learned Photoshop by myself, passed CET-4, took self-taught undergraduate examination in Advertising of Xiamen University, won scholarships every year, and once joined classmates to fight for transferring back to the main campus in Fuzhou. My family was seemingly well-off but actually poor, my father’s factory suffered long-term losses, making me anxious about money from an early age. During my internship after graduation, I worked under huge pressure in the back kitchen of Dicos. One cold rainy night, I suddenly coughed up blood and was diagnosed with severe tuberculosis with half of my lung infected. I hid my illness from everyone, delayed treatment and recovered slowly by myself, leaving irreversible pulmonary fibrosis permanently. I sang Ocean Waves at the graduation party, which brought me my first love. My ex-girlfriend settled down and started a family in Zhangzhou, while I wandered around for a living. We broke up eventually and never met again for decades. This video records my inferior childhood, academic regrets, illness setbacks, lost first love and wandering life. If you also have tough days you endured alone, feel free to share your story in the comment section. #PersonalMemoir #LifeStory #RegretsOfYouth #FirstLove #LifeStruggles #TBStory #CollegeMemories