MST3K - Favorite Moments - The Painted Hills

In episode 510 we are subjected to the gender confused life of a Hollywood canine movie star. In The Painted Hills, Lassie (a female dog) plays the male dog Shep. This might not be so bad, if it wasn't for the fact that Lassie was played by a male dog in the first place. So, what we've got here is a male dog playing a female dog playing a male dog... a kind of Victor, Victoria, Victor thing. This rather confusing fact may actually have been the real reason why this was the last MGM movie starring Lassie. I see years of intense therapy for the poor mutt as a result of this. Anyway, the story involves Shep's (or Lassie's) love for an old prospector (the less said about that the better) and a small boy -- a love which quickly turns into a minor vengeful killing spree, as the old guy is killed by his greedy companion. This story of prospecting and revenge generally involves watching people hanging around in a hut, growing beards and cooking beans or something -- oh yeah, and a minor Lassie spas attack. Well, Lassie -- or Shep or whatever -- gets his/her/his revenge when he/she/he pushes the bad guy off a cliff -- nice doggie, eh? Luckily this is preceded by the short Body Care and Grooming, which tries to teach us how to become obsessive compulsive about our appearance and grooming, so we can look like everyone else. Look out for facial tire changing, the inability to know whose who, Pile-on Pete (I will not), snausages, a man with childbearing hips, Leon Trotsky, a tribe of Pippi Longstockings, dog tossing, an Indian bar mitzvah, filthy and shameless spring, a half-cocked prospector (yrh), Kenny Rogers as Moses, the wider people of yesteryear, the individual burying of man and hat, a ransacking by Tom Bombadil, Bigfoot putting on a blazer, Batman in reverse, the Von Trapp family prospectors, the non-lasting of being alive, Sampo, and a woman dressed for non-groping. Enjoy!