Why Are You Still Single? Sara Eckel Says It's Not You (Interview with The Thirtysomething Coach)

There are ways in which being single is AWESOME. AND, sometimes it really, really sucks to be single when you don't want to be. Especially when you see other people partnering off all around you. Especially when you're constantly fielding questions like "So, are you seeing anyone?" "How's your dating life?" and "When are you going to settle down?" from everyone from your mother to your dentist. Are you a thirtysomething single who's starting to wonder what's wrong with you? Are you trying to do everything you're "supposed" to, but still going to bed and waking up alone? Writer and New York Times "Modern Love" columnist Sara Eckel has been there. At thirty-one, after ending a major relationship and leaving her job in the same month, Sara found herself in a perfect storm of transition. Determined to rebuild, Sara set out to diagnose her shortcomings and begin the "construction of Sara 2.0," a quest for self-improvement and lovability. Despite doing everything she could to "get out there," Sara remained single for most of her thirties. Throughout, she continued determinedly on her quest to figure out why. "I was a woman in her late thirties alone," writes Sara. "What was wrong? What was wrong with me?" The answers Sara found to that question resulted in a book that I would put into the hands of every single AND partnered reader if I could. Relatable, incisive, funny, and totally on-point, It's Not You: 27 (Wrong) Reasons You're Single exposes the messages we get from others and repeat to ourselves, unpacks the massive contradictions in those messages (You're too independent! You're too needy!), and completely reframes the single experience. Sara wrote this book in part for her thirtysomething self...and for all the single thirtysomethings out there today who wonder what they're doing wrong. In this interview with The Thirtysomething Coach, she shares her insights and tips with you. Watch now to learn how to handle thirtysomething singledom, in all its fabulousness and unfabulousness, including: • How to deal with the gnawing questions: What if I never meet my person? What if it never happens? • Why are you still single—really? (hint: you might want to give yourself a little more credit) • How to stay calm in the crazy dating game, and deal with bad dates and disappointments as you put yourself out there • How to powerfully handle your loneliness, sadness, vulnerability, and pain...and allow it to pass more quickly (following Sara's advice could totally change every area of your life in which you're experiencing those feelings) • What to do when you feel out of control of your love life—and the surprising way you can actually regain some control • How to reconnect with your own instincts and preserve your self-esteem in a world that's always telling you what's wrong with you (You're too picky! You're afraid of commitment! You should have married that guy!) • Why "what's wrong with you" is not actually the point • A powerful and empowering three-word answer to that question: "Why are you still single?" Sara will help you to recognize and release all the negative messages you're getting about yourself, and manage the tough times when being single feels lonely, scary, or just exhausting. If you're trying to obey all the instructions from your friends and the dating experts to "get out there" and make yourself "ready" for love, and it's still not working... If you're having trouble dealing with those Saturday nights when being a fabulous single person doesn't feel so fabulous... this is a can't-miss interview. Get more great content from The Thirtysomething Coach at http://carriespaulding.com/. Visit Sara's website (and get a free chapter of It's Not You!) at http://saraeckel.com/ .