On the Analyst's Shame

Presentation at the Center for Modern Psychoanalytic Studies, New York, NY, April 23, 2021. Abstract: Although it is common to discuss the dynamics of a patient’s shame, what is often not discussed is the analyst’s shame, which remains secret and taboo. Doing so would reveal vulnerability and risk the judgment of others, yet it is the very thing we encourage in the consulting room. When shame is evoked in the analyst, it brings the analyst’s own developmental history into the transference-countertransference matrix. It can affect praxis and the treatment frame, altering the course and boundaries of the therapeutic alliance. The intense emotions may be almost unbearable, partly because the analyst feels it would be inappropriate to share them with the patient. Mills discusses the shame he experienced when idealized by a child patient who felt deep shame about having been physically abused, which resonated with the analyst’s own abuse history. The evoked feelings led to an intervention that was interactive and paternal, helping the patient to transcend his idealization of the analyst.