Caring Means Holding Grief Without Turning Punitive, with Richard Rollinson

Care gets framed as gentle and cosy, but that story falls apart the moment you work closely with children who have lived through fear, loss and disruption. I sit down with Richard Rollinson for another instalment of objects that help use remember and think, to explore a tougher, more honest view: care as something we carry, not just something we do. Richard brings two objects to make the point - a Care Bear and the Oxford English Dictionary - and cites definitions that connect “care” to grief, mental suffering, doubt and sorrow. It lands because it sounds like the real emotional labour of child and youth care, residential care, foster care and therapeutic support. We remind the listener about Richard’s love of objects and storytelling: how a childhood habit of arranging things, an unforgettable stage performance filled with objects, and decades of practice in the Mulberry Bush community shaped a way of communicating that invites people in rather than telling them off. We talk about presence, remembering and the strange truth that a single detail can hold a whole world, including a photo where a father’s shoe becomes a doorway into family history, disability and connection. We also get practical about safeguarding and organisational culture. Richard contrasts whistleblowing with something that should sit beside it: voicing concern early, as course correction, so teams can question routines before harm happens. That leads into containment and reflection about how supported staff can hold children’s feelings without becoming punitive, how naming an experience can calm a storm, and how good containment spreads through a group in the best possible way. If you care for children, lead a team, or want trauma-informed practice that stays human under pressure, you’ll find plenty to pause on. Subscribe, share this with a colleague, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway or the object that carries your story. Chapters: 0:00 Care Defined As Sorrow 0:45 Welcome And Country Acknowledgement 2:44 Why Objects Carry Meaning 13:22 Vast Universe And Inner Life 19:43 Presence Through A Father’s Shoe 25:32 Care Bear Versus Real Care 33:44 Whistleblowing And Voicing Concern 38:11 Containment That Spreads Through Teams 47:25 Two Part Conversation Preview Richard’s Bio Richard has a long association with Residential Therapeutic Communities, having worked at the Mulberry Bush School for well over 20 years and where, from 1991 to 2001, he was its Director. He was also Director, Children and Young People, at the Peper Harow Foundation, from 2001 to 2005. Richard qualified as a Social Worker with an MSc from Oxford University in 1983, following the then Part 1 training in Child Psychotherapy at the Tavistock Centre. In 2005 he completed the Ashridge MA and training in Organisational Consulting. He has been Chairman of the Charterhouse Group of Therapeutic Communities and for many years the Chairman of the Care Leavers’ Foundation. In 2014 he became Chair of Trustees at the Mulberry Bush School, only recently stepping down from that position, while remaining a Trustee with a special brief for the links and development of the contacts with and participation of former pupils. He has published numerous articles and continues to lecture widely across the UK and Europe. Links: Patreon:   / thesecurestartpodcast  . Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/ Disclaimer: Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative context.