KALA - MYSELF TO BLAME [Official Video]

Listen to MYSELF TO BLAME here: https://ffm.to/mtb This song is my final independent release. It was self produced with Quakemaker (Retsu) from BUTTERFLY SCISSORS. ALL SOCIALS: https://ffm.bio/kala VIDEO: YAJIMA IG   / runahaya5   X   / isa_sawa   LYRICS: I lost a brother to the pills but I still bounced back Beat down to the floor, still bounced back Homie's got a house in the hills how bout that All my friends all around on the up But I'm still in my head feeling stuck I barely feel like I'm alive And it's not that I don't try to make things better all the time It's like there's someone else inside In this glass box feelin like I can't break out Truth is I don't really know myself I'm blackpilled feelin so checked out Every fuckin' day is the same Cause I been stuck in this cycle with my anxiety brain But I been exercising, meditating every day And I been hoping that I won't always be feeling this way And I think that out there, there's a place for me But right now... I barely feel like I'm alive And it's not that I don't try to make things better all the time It's like there's someone else inside Breaking me down (I drown myself in the shame cause I only got myself to blame) Breaking me down But I only got myself to blame I'll never be quite who you want CPTSD's not my fault It's hard to see these things when I get so fucked up The truth is that I hate myself Your drug addicted abuse left me abandoned Cast me away It's all the same It's all the same I barely feel like I'm alive And it's not that I don't try to make things better all the time It's like there's someone else inside Breaking me down (I drown myself in the shame cause I only got myself to blame) Breaking me down But I only got myself to blame Fucking stay away from me You want the real me but I'm so sick of myself I barely feel like I'm alive I barely feel like I'm alive I try so hard to fix my mind Don't want these thoughts of suicide I just gotta get through today Will it ever change? I barely feel like I'm alive And it's not that I don't try to make things better all the time It's like there's someone else inside Breaking me down (I drown myself in the shame cause I only got myself to blame) Breaking me down (I drown myself in the shame cause I only got myself to blame) But I only got myself to blame I lost a brother to the pills but I still bounced back (But I've only got myself to blame) Beat down to the floor, still bounced back Yeah I've only got myself to blame