He’s Not Immature, He’s Abusive: Why Narcissists Don’t “Grow Out of It” with Dr. Les Carter | S3EP8

Is he immature… or is he benefiting from the dynamic? Lisa sits down with Dr. Les Carter (Surviving Narcissism) to unpack why so many women confuse immaturity with abusiveness, and why that confusion keeps them stuck for years. They explore: – Why narcissists avoid self-examination – The role of power in toxic relationships – DARVO and reactive abuse – Why “he’s traumatized” isn’t the whole story – And why sustained change is rare without deep internal motivation This conversation challenges the comforting myth that he just “doesn’t know better.” If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re the problem, or why therapy didn’t fix him, this episode will give you language for what you lived. 👇 Comment below: When did you realize it wasn’t immaturity, it was a pattern? Subscribe for more videos that expose abuse tactics and answer the questions you've always wondered about toxic and abusive relationships. Connect with Resources Get more education, 24/7 healing and resources inside my online community She Rises Collective: https://strongerthanbefore.ca/membership Join our 12-Week Group Coaching Programs with me and Dr. Peter Salerno https://strongerthanbefore.ca/group-c... Take the free 2-minute Trauma Bond Quiz https://kcdplmm983r.typeform.com/trau... Work With Me Book a 1:1 Clarity Call https://strongerthanbefore.ca/book-a-... Trauma Bond Recovery Course https://strongerthanbefore.ca/trauma-... Website https://strongerthanbefore.ca About Lisa Sonni Abusive relationship educator and trauma bond recovery expert. Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, creator of the Break & Rebuild Method, and author of four abuse-recovery books. Host of Relationships Uncensored Podcast. #NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaRecovery #NarcissisticAbuseRecovery #TraumaBonding #EmotionalAbuse #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #HealingFromTrauma #ToxicRelationships ⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not therapy or medical advice. Always seek professional help for your specific situation. 00:00 – “He’s Just Immature” 01:42 – Meet Dr. Les Carter 03:58 – Immaturity vs. Narcissism 06:21 – The Defensive Fortress 09:47 – Blame-Shifting and Excuse-Making 12:15 – The Wear-Down Strategy 15:02 – Why You Leave Conversations Exhausted 18:26 – How Narcissists Provoke Emotional Reactions 21:14 – Reactive Rage vs. Mutual Toxicity 24:03 – The Trap of Trying to Be Logical 27:18 – When Accountability Never Lands 30:42 – The “Nonetheless” Technique 33:55 – Breaking the Circular Argument 37:08 – Reclaiming Emotional Stability 40:26 – Trusting Your Own Perception Again 43:51 – Why You Can’t Fix Immaturity 46:18 – Final Takeaways: Seeing the Pattern Clearly