The 5 Stages of Grief Are Wrong? (What Grief Really Looks Like)

The 5 stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) are everywhere—but as a licensed therapist who’s worked with grief for years and navigated my own losses, I believe they’re outdated and often harmful. Many feel pressured to “progress” through stages linearly, but real grief doesn’t work that way. Grief is non-linear, messy, and unique. It can come from losing a loved one, dreams unlived, relationships, or even parts of yourself. You might cycle through emotions repeatedly, skip stages, or feel fine one day and overwhelmed the next. That’s normal—not a sign something’s wrong. In this video, I share my personal grief journey after losing my dad young, why the Kübler-Ross model was never meant for grievers (it started with dying patients), and what healthier grieving actually looks like: allowing all feelings, taking time, seeking support (therapy/groups), and not rushing “acceptance.” If your grief feels chaotic or doesn’t fit the “stages,” you’re not broken—you’re human. What losses have you grieved outside of death? How has your journey differed from the textbook stages? Share below—your stories help others feel seen. Important: This is educational, not medical advice. If grief feels overwhelming or prolonged, reach out to a professional. Timestamps: 0:00 Understanding grief beyond stages 4:08 Experience of loss & grief 8:06 Challenges with diagnostic criteria 12:09 Emotional impact of multiple losses 16:07 Sudden losses & support needs 20:14 Navigating grief with time & therapy 23:55 Acknowledging emotions & self-compassion Like if this resonated, subscribe for more therapist insights, hit the bell 🔔. More on grief: How to deal with grief:    • How to Deal with Grief   Complicated grief:    • Is This Complicated Grief?   Books: Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j | Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney [email protected]