人生中真正重要的是什麼? 快樂又是什麼? 《九十自述》| 天下文化 Podcast 讀本郝書 EP57

In this episode of the *World Culture Podcast*, host Hao Xulie (Brother Hao) shares Charles Handy's final work, *Ninety Years of Self-Narration*. This book compiles his life's insights and reflections, especially his profound understanding of longevity, contentment, success, and happiness. Brother Hao, in a warm tone, guides the audience through five important questions about life extracted from the book, and through Handy's stories and reflections, helps everyone re-examine the meaning of "living well." Brother Hao says that the value of these essays lies in inspiring people to think about the meaning of life. Therefore, he has summarized the book's ideas into five core questions that we all face: What is success? What is truly important? How to balance work and life? What shouldn't we care about too much? What is happiness? The first question: What is success? Handy recounts a story in the book about having dinner with his grandchildren. When he asked his grandchildren their definition of success, the children answered that success is "having money, a house, and a car," and being able to buy whatever they want. This is a typical worldly view. However, instead of immediately commenting, Han Di took them to see his late wife's grave. When they discovered that the snowdrops that had originally planted on her grave were now growing on someone else's grave, Han Di realized this symbolized his wife's character—passionate, generous, and willing to share. His wife's favorite saying was, "The most important thing in life is to water and fertilize the garden of friendship." Her life revolved around love and relationships. Han Di said affectionately that he was his wife's "chief snowdrop," her best friend throughout her life. For him, a life surrounded by love and genuinely connected with others was the greatest success. Success wasn't wealth or fame, but "a life embraced by love." The second question: What is most important in life? Han Di illustrated this with a story he heard on BBC news. At the time, the Italian government had collapsed three times in half a month. The host asked an Italian if this was a big deal, and the person replied, "It's a big deal, but not important." Han Di realized from this that what is considered a "big deal" and what is considered "important" are not necessarily the same. For Italians, the core of life can be summarized by three Fs: Family, Friend, and Food. Family provides a sense of belonging, friends bring happiness, and food symbolizes the warmth of life. Han Di reminds us that "big things don't necessarily need to be done immediately, but important things cannot be delayed for a moment." Knowing what is truly important is key to living a focused and rhythmic life. The third question: How to balance work and life? Han Di cites Isaiah Berlin's concept of two kinds of freedom: negative freedom and positive freedom. The former is freedom from external interference, while the latter is the freedom to control one's own life. Han Di recalls his youth as a manager at a large oil company, where he enjoyed a high income and financial security, yet felt trapped within the system—that was "negative freedom." Later, he resigned from his high-paying job to focus on writing and lecturing. Although he lost a stable source of income, he gained "positive freedom," the ability to choose what he wanted to do. At that moment, his wife said to him, "You've finally achieved true freedom." Hao Ge elaborated, saying that these two freedoms are not contradictory. If you can find work you love, allowing work and life to blend seamlessly, there's no need to deliberately pursue "balance." When work itself is a part of life, enabling one to realize their value and find happiness, life naturally becomes harmonious. The fourth question: What are some things we don't actually need to care about too much? Han Di shared an interesting anecdote. Once, he attended a book signing event, and the author, introducing him, said, "This is the smartest person I've ever met." He was delighted and even asked the author to write that sentence in the book. Later, when he went to see his wife, he overheard someone say to her, "You are the best person I've ever met." At that moment, a pang of jealousy rose in his heart; it turned out that "good" was more desirable than "smart." His wife smiled and said to him, "You need to work harder; you're still far from being 'good.'" This small incident made Han Di reflect: We often care whether others think we are smart, rich, or successful, but at the end of life, what people truly remember is not your talent, but your kindness, gentleness, and reliability. He set two life goals for himself: to become a "friendly and kind person" and a "trustworthy person." Intelligence and ability are important, but ultimately meaningless if they cannot bring warmth and trust to others. The fifth question: What is happiness? Han Di said that the foundation of happiness has three aspects: ...