Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (It’s Not Intuition, It’s Trauma) | Kirby Fling | Ep 123

Discover how to break free from toxic relationship patterns by healing the attachment wounds driving them. Relationship coach Kirby Fling reveals how to “hack” your attachment system, transform triggers into opportunities for growth, and build deep, secure connections that last. In this eye-opening conversation, Kirby — founder of the Two Mind Method — blends trauma-informed coaching with real-world experience to help you understand why you keep repeating the same relationship cycles and how to change them for good. We explore the link between hypervigilance and intuition, the predictability of attachment wounds, and the five pillars of secure attachment that can revolutionize your love life. This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered: 🔹 How to tell the difference between hypervigilance and true intuition — and when you can trust it 🔹 The predictable patterns of attachment wounds and how they impact every area of life 🔹 Why trauma isn’t what you think it is — and how it really shapes relationships 🔹 The five pillars of secure attachment and how to apply them in daily life 🔹 Green and red flags to look for when starting a new relationship 🔹 The role of shame and how to dismantle it for good 🔹 How to shift your attachment style toward secure, healthy love We talk about: 0:06 Welcome & Season Update 2:39 Introducing Kirby Fling & Episode Overview 4:41 What Does Being Human Mean? 6:25 Intuition vs. Hypervigilance 8:22 Kirby’s Background & The Two Mind Method 9:25 Everything Stems from Attachment 10:30 Intuition as a Corrupted Compass 14:33 Core Wounds & How They Form 18:00 How Attachment Shapes Everything 20:49 Who Gets Attachment Wounds? 23:16 Preventing Long‑Term Traumatic Memory 27:50 Adrenaline, Neuroplasticity & Healing 28:58 When Both Partners Are Triggered 33:26 The Five Pillars of Attachment 38:24 Enemies of Healing: Shame, Blame & More 39:15 The Link Between Wrongness & Shame 43:09 Attachment Styles Can Change 45:02 The Bag of Peanuts Analogy 49:24 Green & Red Flags in Relationships 52:12 The Two Mind Method Explained 54:46 Generational Healing & Secure Attachment 56:46 Where to Find Kirby Online 57:25 Final Thoughts on Trauma 🌿 About Kirby Fling Kirby Fling is a trauma-informed relationship coach and founder of the Two Mind Method, a signature approach to healing attachment wounds and building secure connections. From Bali, Indonesia, he helps clients worldwide through coaching, retreats, and transformational teachings. 📌 Watch next:    • Relationships   💬 What’s your biggest takeaway from this conversation? Drop your thoughts in the comments — we read every one. 👍 Like this video? Give it a thumbs up, subscribe, and hit the bell so you don’t miss future episodes. 🔗 Connect with Kirby Fling Instagram/YouTube: @twomindmethod 🌐 Connect with Human Amplified Website: https://www.humanamplified.com Podcast: https://humanamplified.com/episodes/123 Instagram:   / humanamplified   Facebook:   / humanamplified   YouTube:    / @humanamplified   📝 Disclaimer The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Human Amplified, its subsidiaries, or any entities they represent. #attachmenttrauma #attachmentstyles #toxicrelationships