Sega CD Spree: Star Wars: Rebel Assault
Game's gonna make me teleport my soul out of my body to the Sith planet of Exogol to escape playing this. Rebel Assault's gonna make me burn down the Jedi temple when I woke up one night and thought it was going to kill me. Game makes me feel like I've been demoted from co-protagonist to comic relief over the course of three movies. Rebel Assault giving me mixed messages on whether my parents matter. Gonna go settle down on a desert planet I have nothing to do with even though I hated the desert planet I grew up on, because I played Rebel Assault. Rebel Assault got me cursing in Huttese because I realized I'm a character in the half of the movie with the slow-moving space chase, and not the half where I'm hanging with Luke. Game reminds me of the time where my grandpa tried to get me to kill him so his soul could take over my body. Rebel Assault got me smashing my helmet to pieces, knowing it's pointless because I'm going to glue it back to together in the next movie. Game's got me feeling like I'm about to bring back a beloved franchise but with only a vaguely-defined idea on what's even going to happen in these movies. 0:00:00 Intro 0:03:17 Gameplay 0:46:56 Manual 0:49:30 Ranking
