K.-o.-Tropfen vom besten Freund: 3 Übergriffe, jahrelange Schuld, Scham & Schweigen #93 Kati

Trigger warning: This episode deals with date rape drugs, rape, sexual violence within a friend group, guilt, the effects of trauma, vomiting, and bleeding after an assault. Only listen to this episode if you feel stable enough to handle it. Stop listening if you feel overwhelmed. Kati tells the story of a betrayal that still haunts her today. At 14, she met Tobi in a housing project in Cologne. He was two years older, seemed protective, and over the years became her closest confidant. Kati describes how she confided in him because she felt little support at home or at school. At 16, she spent the night at his place for the first time. She remembers a movie night, then nausea, dizziness, and memory gaps. Tobi explained it away with cola, caffeine, or simply not tolerating it well. Kati believed him. On her second visit, she woke up in severe pain, again with nausea and a blackout. She has doubts, but doesn't voice them, partly because she's ashamed and doesn't want to lose the friendship. Years later, they see each other again. Kati wants to be careful, brings her own drink, and clearly states that she doesn't want to stay overnight. Nevertheless, Tobi gives her a Fanta. Kati wakes up naked, bleeding, and in a panic. She sees sex toys and condoms and is kicked out. A neighbor helps her, she goes home, and remains silent. Only many years later is Kati able to talk about it. She recounts how guilt, shame, and fear have affected relationships. In a support group, she learns that she wasn't the only one... Timestamps: 0:00:00 – 0:01:36: Trigger warning & intro 0:01:36 – 0:05:50: Meeting at 14, skater scene, "best friend," trust like an older brother 0:05:50 – 0:10:51: Apartment in Cologne, alcohol and other substances in the scene, Tobi's role as "protector" 0:10:51 – 0:18:55: First sleepover at 16, movie night, blackout, nausea, Tobi's explanations, Kati's trust 0:18:55 – 0:26:36: Second sleepover, pain and suspicion, contradictions, showering, silence, no family involved 0:26:36 – 0:32:40: Distance, new scene, contact only superficial, later reunion and Repression 0:32:40 – 0:37:49: Third meeting, own rules, drink, waking up, being kicked out, neighbor helps 0:37:49 – 0:47:19: Driving home in shock, reasons for the silence, consequences for intimacy and sexuality, first person to ask questions 0:47:19 – 0:54:24: Self-help group, other victims, filing charges, questions of guilt, later meeting again on the street 0:54:24 – End: Blocking, his life today, Kati's advice for victims, desire for closure, saying goodbye #sexualizedviolence #rape #vomiting #trauma #traumaconsequences #survivorssspeakout *************************************************** Support for victims: https://weisser-ring.de/ Digital platform that helps make violence against women and FLINTA* more visible: https://laut.jetzt/   / laut.jetzt   Want to be our guest? Then sign up here: https://vonbohnezubohne.com/sei-unser... Want to learn more about us? Then take a look here: https://vonbohnezubohne.com/ueber-uns/ Our Social Media: Instagram Von Bohne zu Bohne:   / vonbohnezubohne   Instagram Sania:   / saniajader   Instagram Charlotte:   / charlottejader   YouTube Channel:    / @vonbohnezubohne