Homestuck: The Musical - Welcome To Homosuck

Lyrics and original composition by Goodnight Lumi with rap by Tad Bain. "Homestuck: The Musical" is a production with music by Goodnight Lumi. It is a musical adaption of Homestuck, the webcomic by Andrew Hussie, which can be found here: http://mspaintadventures.com For more updates and information, follow our Tumblr:   / homestuckthestagemusical   --- Lyrics: Caliborn: *Well that was a craptastic waste of time. Kudos to you for having lasted this long. Fortunately for you, after my first, failed attempt to usurp the storyline, I have now completely taken over! Homestuck: The Musical? What a stuuuuupid name. My audience: Welcome to Homosuck! You may bow before me in gratitude* I think that we have found, and I do mean to be rude That while the songs are rather pretty, well the story's rather crude But you cannot blame these pawns if they're inherently inclined To be stupid, useless, boring, as that's just how they're defined The girls were quite the snore, though admittedly attractive But I believe the female kind should never be so active Leave it to the males instead, though you must understand With how dumb the whole lot are, if I lend a helping hand Come with me now to a world of my creation Of moral ambiguity and objectification I'll be the star, the hero, and you lot will be my crew Don't you agree that it's time for something new? So come along, all those characters you met? Forget them all, in my new tale, they might as well be dead All you have to do is pay attention now to me Or continue watching garbage, so come on what will it be? Jane: Get out of here, you misogynistic little- Caliborn: PLEASE WAIT UNTIL THE PERFORMANCE IS OVER. Jake: Mate, that was a spot too repulsive, even for y- Caliborn: VERY RUDE, I WILL CONTINUE MY SONG NOW Ignore the ugly meatbags, I- Roxy: *Uh huh, noooooo you don't get to talk to my friends like that. Dirk: *Yeah, dude. Not cool. Step off. Caliborn: NOT YOU TOO. YOU WERE MY LEAST UNFAVOURITE. Jane: Well I'm taking on this song, and don't you think It would sound much better in a major key Jake: My dear old girl, that's a marvellous idea! Oh yes! This is much better, don't you chaps agree? Caliborn: NO THIS IS NOT HOW MY SONG IS SUPPOSED TO GO Jane: Who are you even singing to? None of us like you! Roxy: Yeah we only put up with you because your sister is our friend. Caliborn: DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THAT WENCH Roxy: Well I think your sister's sweet, she's a friend of mine Totally unlike you in every way Dirk: Do us all a favour and just turn around I really don't have time to mess with you today Caliborn: AND I WAS GOING TO HELP YOU Jake: Nobody wants your help! And really, who are you talking to? Caliborn: THE AUDIENCE, THEY LOVE ME Dirk: So you're saying that there's a crowd of people out there, watching us through some magical fourth wall Caliborn: YES Roxy: Well even if there was, why watch you when you can watch this hot mess? wonk Jane: Hahaha yeah, come on guys, let's show this mysterious audience what we've got! Jake: ROLL CALL! Jane: Hello my name is Jane, heiress to the Crocker brand I like to bake, investigate, and lend a hand To any of my friends who are having a bad day Why go with him when you can go my way Jake: Jake English is the name, explorer extraordinaire I've got a craving for adventure I would like to share Here at your service, just give the okay And we'll get right to our story so just go my way Roxy: Hey everyone! I'm Roxy Lalonde Coolest chick you'll ever meet, a bombshell blonde Nothing's ever wrong with a little fun, I say So life will be a party if you go my way Dirk: Yo, Dirk Strider here But Rolal calls me di-stri Ain’t no fool, if you want cool Look no further you've hit bulls eye The prince is here to save the day Let’s play this game, come on! It’s character select. Pick who you play. Caliborn: Don't you intrude on my moment in the spotlight You're all so generic there is nothing there you've got right! Jane: If this is a story //Jake: We're the heroes // Roxy: We're the stars Alphas: Because we do what's right, that's the way things are So come along, there's a story to be had Adventure could start at the drop of a hat What'cha gotta say, what'cha gotta say, what'cha gotta say about that? Caliborn: THIS IS A FORM OF BULLYING AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT