Unhinged Hockey - Song

Verse 1 – Season 1 (Clueless & Happy) They say sign him up, “try a winter sport” We don’t know a single rule, just clap with full support Skates go on wrong, helmet loose, he’s falling every shift We cheer like he just wins it all for standing up a bit “As long as he has fun… that’s all that matters.” ⸻ Verse 2 – Season 2 (We’re Chill… Supposedly) Season two, we’re back again, we know the rules… kind of We’re not like those intense folks, we’re way more relaxed than them “Wait… Timmy’s doing power skating? At SIX years old??” That seems a little overboard… (quietly) “Where do they go?” “We’re not going to go crazy like other families.” ⸻ Verse 3 – Season 3 (Just One Lesson…) Season three, we try some lessons, don’t want him falling back One private coach once a week just to clean his stride and track We buy a net, a shooting pad, turn half the garage to ice We watch edgework drills till midnight… you know, just once or twice “We just don’t want him to fall behind.” ⸻ Verse 4 – Season 3.5 (Summer Hockey Awakening) Season three point five, it’s summer, we say we’ll take a break Then someone says “3-on-3 league” and that’s a choice we make “Less pressure, more development,” that’s what we repeat Now we’re driving twice a week for half-ice games in August heat We call it “low commitment”… while adding extra ice Somehow summer turns to more hockey… not less, but twice as nice “It’s different… it’s just for development.” ⸻ Verse 5 – Season 4 (All-In Mode) Season four, it’s travel teams, we HAVE to make that squad If we don’t start now he’s behind, that’s just the way it’s done Dryland twice, ice time three, plus lessons on the side Summer league, fall camp, spring skills—no breaks in sight We’ve got group chats, hotel blocks, and tryout strategy We form opinions on kids we barely even know We laugh at “those” parents… then catch ourselves mid-yell Shouting “MOVE YOUR FEET!” like we’re coaching from the bench “If we want him to succeed, this is what it takes.” ⸻ Verse 6 – Season 6 (He’s Going Pro, Obviously) Season six, I’m telling you, this kid is different now We’re talking juniors, maybe more, I don’t know when or how We’ve got eight tournaments this year, across three time zones wide Canada, New York, Fargo too—we basically don’t live inside We film his shifts, break ‘em down, post highlights like a scout If he misses one clean breakout pass… we’re talking it all out “This kid’s got a real shot at the NHL.” ⸻ Verse 7 – Season 9 (Point of No Return) Season nine, billet homes… yeah that makes sense to us Sure he’s still basically a kid, but this is what he must We act like this is normal life, like this is what we planned While quietly wondering how we live without him at home again We used to say “just have fun”… now listen how we speak We negotiate ice time like it’s contracts every week “This is bigger than just a sport now.” ⸻ Verse 8 – Season 12 (Juniors – Fully Unhinged) Season twelve, it’s juniors now, this is where it’s real We track stats and box scores like we’re signing record deals We call coaches, text some scouts, “just checking in again” We refresh Elite Prospects like it’s breaking news at ten We’ve got opinions on systems, lines, and roles We question every bench decision like we run the whole show We book flights last-minute just to “be there if he plays” We lose all perspective… but we never say it straight “If they just use him right… everything changes.” ⸻ Verse 9 – Season 15 (Draft Day Reality) Season fifteen, draft day comes, we’re sitting in those chairs Heart pounding out our chest like we don’t belong in there They call his name, the room explodes, we’re crying, losing it And every crazy thing we do… suddenly feels legit Hat goes on, he hugs his mom, I can barely stand Flashbacks of every freezing rink are hitting all at once again From “just have fun” to hearing him called in the NHL Draft We look at each other like… yeah, we lose our minds for that (beat) “…worth it.” ⸻ Outro (spoken) “Hey—what time’s practice tomorrow?” “…5:30 AM.” “…let’s get there early.”